Sink or Swim

"Mommy, when are you ever going to wash my clothes??"

That is what Campbell, my 5-year old, asked me as she stood there watching me have to dig dirty socks out of her laundry basket for the second day in a row to wear to school. I am sure that the neat freak inside of her wanted to sit me down and have a come-to-Jesus meeting.......and I don't blame her one bit. After all, she has been sitting on the front row watching me star in the production "When is that crazy woman ever gonna learn??". She has seen me continually add more and more items to my "to-do" list, and to make it even more interesting, I add items that are accompanied with a crunch time limit. Yep...............I'm a thinker. Instead of just jumping in the deep end, its like I want the challenge of strapping weights around my ankles, putting on 2 layers of clothes, eating a value meal and not waiting 20 minutes, and THEN plopping into the deep end and seeing how long I will last before I sink or get a cramp. I want to believe that I have to ability to tackle AND succeed in it all. But what actually ends up happening is just the opposite...........I fail at things that were in my blind spot (like the laundry) and I look like a crazy woman who forgot to look in the mirror before she left the house.

For example, last night we had Bible study at my church. I had been working all day on completing a kitchen table I was refinishing. A table that needed to be finished by this weekend because of the timing of others things that needed to be done. Again, my timing is brilliant. So Bible study started at 7............as I sat down on the couch basically wearing my pajamas I looked to see what time it was. It was 6:57. Awesome. So I jumped up, changed clothes, slapped make-up on in about 30 seconds (even I am unsure of what it looked like), grabbed my Bible and ran next door to the church and was there by 7:05. When I sat down it became confirmed that I did not have my Bible study workbook. Double awesome. I leaned forward during the session and a sweet friend of mine pulled a candy bar off of my back that had somehow gotten smashed into my Northface jacket. Triple Awesome. Not to mention the fact that as I was walking to church I found a mysterious pair of socks in my jacket pocket. What???

I have been convicted before to slow down and get some focus...........but I quickly got too busy to focus on my conviction. Why do I do it?? When will I learn?? If I am going to do something I want to do it well, and I really feel lately that I have not been doing anything well. And it is totally my fault. Hebrews 13:21 says He will "equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to him be the glory forever and ever. Amen." There is the kicker............."that you may do HIS will". My intentions are always good........but they are MY intentions. I need to pray. I need to ask the Lord what HE wants me to do. Once I feel led to what He desires for me to do I need to not feel guilty saying "no" to everything else. I have to remember that I am not here to please man............I am here to please the Lord and bring Him glory. If I continue to fall into the pride of thinking I can handle it all, I will continue to be the girl who shows up late to a Bible study empty handed with a candy bar stuck to her back.