Kick the Pedestal

I will be the first to say that I love Pinterest. It is my cookbook, my creativity for parties/showers, and my inspiration for decorating my home. While I would love to have the opportunity to give a high five to the creative genius that invented this masterpiece, I will also be the first to say that there are often times I look at it and a end up feeling like the laziest wife and mother on the planet. I just want to lay my head on the table and pray for my husband and my children. Whether it is a link to show me how to make my own laundry detergent or sew my child's Halloween costume, pictures of mothers doing loads of craft projects with their children, or a list of romantic gestures to do for my husband..............well, I feel like it's all a joke about me.

The fact is, my intentions are good. My desire is to make healthy, homemade meals every night for my family and have it on the table by 6 pm. My plan would also involve playing Candyland everyday with my girls and maybe throw in a weekly educational craft. And let's not forget the hubs.......with all the romantic gestures I'd be throwing at him he'd think we were newlyweds.

My reality is much different from my intentions. Here is a little bit of my reality...

• I am doing good if the day includes me getting to wash my hair.
• If you've seen me and asked yourself "Was she wearing that yesterday?"......yep, I probably was.
• Just recently, my girls had to wear dirty socks for the second day in a row because I still hadn't washed their clothes. My 5 year old even called me out on it.
• I found some pipe cleaners in my craft tub the other day that have been there for well over a year. I had gotten them to do a craft with the girls..........I totally forgot I even had them

The list goes on and on.

Tonight the girls had gymnastics and I did not have time to cook dinner, so we picked up a pizza on the way home. They survived AND they loved it. After I got them bathed and in bed, I was tucking in Piper and she asked me if I would cuddle with her for a little while. I climbed in bed with her, we laid there and hugged, and she giggled while telling me all about her day. Instead of feeling guilty about not cooking a healthy, homemade dinner, I sit here on cloud 9 that I was able to have such a sweet moment with my little girl.

It is so easy to let ourselves feel like we are less of a mother or wife if we are not able to stand on the pedestal that Pinterest and social media have the tendency to create. I say we kick that imaginary pedestal that we keep trying to climb on to the curb. The reality is, life can get crazy and there are times we just have to give ourselves grace. I treasure my role as a wife and a mom. I need to remember that the Lord did not put Blue and the girls in my life so that I could compare myself to other women filling the same role. Being Pinterest worthy is not what qualifies me as a good wife and mom. Loving my husband and my children in a way that glorifies the Lord and giving them the confidence and security in knowing they are my number one treasure on this earth..................well, that's what matters.

Fearlessly Confident

My girls are wired completely differently.

Don't get me wrong, they have some similarities, but their differences speak much louder. For example, when Campbell first started coloring her favorite part of the activity was lining up her crayons and placing them in an organized, color-coded fashion. Piper's favorite thing to do when she laid her blue eyes on those little "art sticks" was sneaking in the other room and coloring on the wall. Today, if you hand each of them a pack of M&M's you will also see their differences. Campbell will dump them out, organize them by color, and save her favorite color to eat last. Piper will turn the bag up, see how many she can fit in her mouth at once, and save the melted chocolate on her face until I attack her with a wipe. Campbell is a perfectionist who is determined and loves to learn. She loves her friends, she treasures her family, and I call her my "love bug" because she always wants me to cuddle with her. She loves to use her imagination when playing and always chooses to play the part of "mommy" because she likes to be responsible for taking care of "her baby". She is hilarious and I'm pretty sure she mastered the art of sarcasm by age 3. Piper is wide open and fun-loving. She will talk to everyone we pass in the aisle at Walmart and her strong compassion causes her to have such concern if she hears a baby crying two aisles over. She loves to be messy and is determined to wear her shoes on the wrong feet. She says she "likes them like that". She is feisty and does not get intimidated. She is a leader. We call her our "passionate" one because whatever emotion she is feeling she is ALL IN.........happy, mad, excited, etc.

The Lord created them in very specific ways. As a parent, I know it is my job to raise them to be CONFIDENT in those characteristics He so purposefully gave them. I don't want them to let society, or even their friends at school, cause them to be insecure in who the Lord made them. After all, I know He has big plans for them and I know that He blessed them with these characteristics to equip them for those plans. If they were to grow insecure they could become hindered, or distracted, from the ways He desires to use them. As their Mommy, I want to instill confidence and fearlessness in their uniqueness.

So here is what hit me in the face..........I am NOT always confident in my uniqueness and the idea of describing myself as fearless is almost laughable. I know that my girls study my every move. I literally learn about my own quirks and my repetitive statements by watching them play "Mommy and little girl" with each other. You see, I have tried to always be aware of not talking about my dislike of my body. I know that I need to avoid talking about wanting to lose weight or the caloric intake of my lunch. While I want them to be healthy, I do not want them to become worried or insecure about the appearance of their bodies. But I have completely overlooked being confident and fearless in the qualities, gifts, and characteristics the Lord has purposefully instilled in me. Let alone allowing them SEE me be confident and fearless in my God-given uniqueness.  Instead, they have heard me talking to their ever-so-patient Daddy, dwelling on my insecurities and fears when I am faced with a task that the Lord has placed before me......a task that intimidated and scared me.

The fact is, the Lord made my girls unique and is equipping them for big things. I want them to be fearlessly confident and EMBRACE those things. As I look in the mirror, I want to ask God, "Is there anything I'm running from?" I know He has purposefully made me the way I am. I want to be fearless. I want to be confident in how He has equipped me. I want to embrace the desires and passions he places before me and not be intimidated. I want my girls to imitate THAT.

Big Dreamer

I am not big on new years resolutions. Every time I've made one I always eventually drop the ball and end up feeling like a failure. For example: "This year I am going to loose weight" - by March my pants were already a little tighter. "This year I am going to read more" - the same book would be sitting on my nightstand for 3 months with the bookmark on chapter 3. However, I do LOVE the idea of making goals and working towards them. So one of my goals this year is to blog once a week. The only reason I am taking the time to actually blog about this is to hold myself accountable. I actually giggle even as I type that because I realize that there is a very strong possibility that I am the only person that even knows my blog exists. But alas, in my "big dreamer"  mind I am letting the world know my goal. :) There are several reasons this blog is important to me, even if I am the only one who knows of its existence. The Lord has been stirring my heart to tackle some things that feel much bigger than me and that are, honestly, just flat out intimidating. For a number of reasons, I feel like this silly ol' blog is a tool to help me on this journey He is taking me on.

Now I didn't say NOTHIN' about the blogs being any good!