I wanted Campbell's first birthday party to be perfect. After researching and then planning exactly how I wanted it to look, I spent weeks hand-making the decorations and organizing the details of the menu and centerpieces. The night before the party, I went to our church fellowship hall to begin getting everything in place so that I could "relax" with my family on Saturday morning.
Is that not hilarious?!?!?! I thought I was going to RELAX!!
Before I knew it guests began to arrive and I was trying my best to make sure everyone had what they needed, that food trays were filled, and that all the children were playing together in a drama-free fashion. I'm sure I was trying to keep an "I'm-cool-as-a-cucumber" smile on my face, but I distinctly remember feeling like I was going to physically fall over at any moment. As the party ended, I made sure all the children took their meticulously thought out and prepared party favors and then took a deep breath. Now it was time to clean. Lord have mercy.
"Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me." And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:38-42
With every fiber of my being, I can completely understand Martha. After all, she was the hostess. She wanted things to be perfect. They needed to be perfect. Of course she wanted to sit down and just relax with Jesus.......I mean, why wouldn't she?? But how could she possibly just sit down before everything was prepared and ready for their time spent together? I can picture her looking over at Mary, rolling her eyes along the way, wondering why no one else ever helps with the details.........they just sit around and enjoy them. While I can identify with Martha, I desperately want to personify Mary. That chick knew what she was doing. She set up camp right at the feet of Jesus. She was with Jesus. She knew there was absolutely nothing else in the world that could be more important than soaking up the sound of every breath He took. It didn't matter that the chores were not finished before He arrived, or that her peripheral vision allowed her to see Martha giving her the stink-eye with every huff she took. She was not going to be distracted. She was confident in what mattered. She was focused on the One that deserved her attention.
When I sit and think about Campbell's birthday party, I am heartbroken that I do not have many memories spent with her. Just like Martha, I spent all of my energy and time on details that don't mean a thing today. The fact is, we live in a Martha world and we are surrounded by stink-eyes and huffs that are doing everything in their power to demand our attention. I want to be Mary. I want to sit confident at the feet of Jesus, soaking up His every breath. I choose to not be persuaded or manipulated by the pressures around me, but instead, to sit so close to Him that I can clearly hear His voice in the midst of the noise. I choose to focus on what is important............on Him.............and on what He is telling me to do.
Lord, please help me to be a Mary in a Martha world.
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
The Switch
I make it a general rule of thumb to avoid taking my girls with me to the post office. Reason being, when we arrive they are smart enough to know I am going to be distracted and their bright blue eyes view the room as a blank canvas for mischief. However, about a year ago, Blue was out of town and I was in crunch time to mail out a stack of catalogs for my previous Thirty-One business......so I had to break the rule.
BIG mistake.
Piper was sick and we stopped on the way to the doctors office for her sick visit. It was right before a holiday so the line was literally to the door. I held Piper with one arm, the huge stack of catalogs with the other, all while trying to prevent Campbell from pulling everything off the walls as she danced by my side. We finally made it to the front of the line. As Campbell was trying to show everyone she could hold the counter with her hands while climbing up the side of the wall with her feet, I sat Piper on the counter so that I could reach in my purse for my debit card. In those 3-4 seconds she reached behind the clerks computer and found a switch. THE switch. This switch happened to be what controlled the operating system for the entire post office. This computer happened to be the motherboard for all the other computers in the building. I knew it was bad when I looked up to see the anguish and disbelief on the clerks face. Piper had flipped the switch off............of course she had. This realization caused me to immediately get dizzy and overheated. After waiting about 15 minutes, I apologized to the clerk and quickly walked toward the door, avoiding eye contact with everyone waiting. On my way out I heard the clerk apologizing to the long and frustrated line for the wait they were about to endure because their system would not reboot and they were unsure how long it would take. Frazzled and embarrassed, I drove to the doctors office. As I'm getting settled in the crowded waiting room, I look over to see my children doing belly slides across the large center table. Shortly after being punished for that, one of them got loose and started running over the top of all the empty waiting room chairs.....this tempted me to agree with all the judgmental stares I was getting from all the other parents holding their sick children. I could go on and on about the chaos, drama, and threats that took place in that doctors office during our hour and a half wait. By the time we got home, all I wanted to do was sit in fetal position in a dark corner and cry. But there was no time for that.....I needed to snap out of it and comfort my sick 2 year old. Even though I felt the need for a therapist and big piece of chocolate, my little girl felt horrible and needed her Mommy. I had to pull it together.
When we are tired, our little ones still expect energy. When we are overwhelmed, they still expect our attention. When we are scared, they still expect us to make them feel safe. All mother's can agree that our children bring us joy that we never knew was possible. But I think we can also agree that we have some hard days. Days when we wonder what people will think of us if they knew how crazy our eyes can really get. Days when 4 cups of coffee just isn't doing the trick. While the joy is real, the feeling of exhaustion and the desire to be comforted is too. We all have those days when we want to sit down on the floor, in the middle of all the pandemonium, and have someone offer us a hug and a lollipop. We want to be encouraged. We want to be nurtured. We want someone to make us feel safe. In the middle of the night, after we have gotten our child back to sleep due to another mean nightmare, we climb into bed and are kept awake by the fears of life's "what-if's". We want someone to tell us that its all going to be alright. We get frazzled because it seems as though we have used all our strength and energy to comfort and encourage everyone else and we become concerned that we are going to stay in a state of anxious fear. We feel like we are swirling about in a tornado of chaos and it seems laughably ironic that someone is looking to us as the anchor in the middle of their wild waves.
When we are scared, His truth tells us this.....
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deuteronomy 31:6)
When we feel like we have nothing left to give, He tells us otherwise......
"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, yes, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."(Isaiah 41:10)
When we are overwhelmed, He just wants us to look to HIM....
"From the end of the earth, I will cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I." (Psalm 61:2)
When we collapse to our knees in the middle of the floor, overwhelmed by fear and fatigue.............He is there. He is wrapping His arms around us, tucking our hair behind our ear, and whispering, "It's all going to be alright."
BIG mistake.
Piper was sick and we stopped on the way to the doctors office for her sick visit. It was right before a holiday so the line was literally to the door. I held Piper with one arm, the huge stack of catalogs with the other, all while trying to prevent Campbell from pulling everything off the walls as she danced by my side. We finally made it to the front of the line. As Campbell was trying to show everyone she could hold the counter with her hands while climbing up the side of the wall with her feet, I sat Piper on the counter so that I could reach in my purse for my debit card. In those 3-4 seconds she reached behind the clerks computer and found a switch. THE switch. This switch happened to be what controlled the operating system for the entire post office. This computer happened to be the motherboard for all the other computers in the building. I knew it was bad when I looked up to see the anguish and disbelief on the clerks face. Piper had flipped the switch off............of course she had. This realization caused me to immediately get dizzy and overheated. After waiting about 15 minutes, I apologized to the clerk and quickly walked toward the door, avoiding eye contact with everyone waiting. On my way out I heard the clerk apologizing to the long and frustrated line for the wait they were about to endure because their system would not reboot and they were unsure how long it would take. Frazzled and embarrassed, I drove to the doctors office. As I'm getting settled in the crowded waiting room, I look over to see my children doing belly slides across the large center table. Shortly after being punished for that, one of them got loose and started running over the top of all the empty waiting room chairs.....this tempted me to agree with all the judgmental stares I was getting from all the other parents holding their sick children. I could go on and on about the chaos, drama, and threats that took place in that doctors office during our hour and a half wait. By the time we got home, all I wanted to do was sit in fetal position in a dark corner and cry. But there was no time for that.....I needed to snap out of it and comfort my sick 2 year old. Even though I felt the need for a therapist and big piece of chocolate, my little girl felt horrible and needed her Mommy. I had to pull it together.
When we are tired, our little ones still expect energy. When we are overwhelmed, they still expect our attention. When we are scared, they still expect us to make them feel safe. All mother's can agree that our children bring us joy that we never knew was possible. But I think we can also agree that we have some hard days. Days when we wonder what people will think of us if they knew how crazy our eyes can really get. Days when 4 cups of coffee just isn't doing the trick. While the joy is real, the feeling of exhaustion and the desire to be comforted is too. We all have those days when we want to sit down on the floor, in the middle of all the pandemonium, and have someone offer us a hug and a lollipop. We want to be encouraged. We want to be nurtured. We want someone to make us feel safe. In the middle of the night, after we have gotten our child back to sleep due to another mean nightmare, we climb into bed and are kept awake by the fears of life's "what-if's". We want someone to tell us that its all going to be alright. We get frazzled because it seems as though we have used all our strength and energy to comfort and encourage everyone else and we become concerned that we are going to stay in a state of anxious fear. We feel like we are swirling about in a tornado of chaos and it seems laughably ironic that someone is looking to us as the anchor in the middle of their wild waves.
When we are scared, His truth tells us this.....
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deuteronomy 31:6)
When we feel like we have nothing left to give, He tells us otherwise......
"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, yes, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."(Isaiah 41:10)
When we are overwhelmed, He just wants us to look to HIM....
"From the end of the earth, I will cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I." (Psalm 61:2)
When we collapse to our knees in the middle of the floor, overwhelmed by fear and fatigue.............He is there. He is wrapping His arms around us, tucking our hair behind our ear, and whispering, "It's all going to be alright."
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
"To Infinity and Beyond!"
"This is an intergalactic emergency."
It's almost as if Buzz Lightyear could foresee my sweet family riding his "Space Ranger Spin" at Disney World when he gave us this quote. After trying to entertain and keep peace with a 2 and 4 year old while we waited in line, we eventually all four climbed aboard our space cruiser to begin the space crusade. Piper's face lit up when she saw the shiny red joystick that was glaring at us like a beaming light. This red little gem had the power to sling our space cruiser around in quick motions as it sat defenseless in the death-gripped hand of my 2 year old. After realizing my motion sickness demise, I looked over to see my husband's eyes become fixated on the space cannon in front of him. For the next 5 minutes I was able to absorb an accurate picture of what he would look like as a 10 year old boy who had free reign to a laser gun on a moving ride. A ride that allowed him to gain points for every target that was hit by a blast from his cannon. It was like manna from Heaven for his competitive soul. However, I was a little distracted by all of the red flags being thrown in my face, warning me of the battle Buzz Lightyear and I were about to embark upon. You see, my 4 year old was clinging to me like a cute little baby monkey. She apparently thought that this space crusade was a glimpse into cruel and unusual punishment.
It turned out that my space battlefield consisted of me working incredibly hard to not lose my theme park lunch due to Piper's joyride with the joystick. My duties also included comforting Campbell and covering her eyes from the horror before her, while occasionally throwing a fake smile and a thumbs up in my husbands direction as he gained another 10 points for good aim. I know we were in Disney World and all, but I will not say this particular experience was magical for me. The strategically placed cameras throughout the ride caught a pretty accurate picture.....
That's what mom's do though, right? We do our best to bring some calmness to the crazy when the world suddenly gets chaotic. We ache to comfort our little ones when fear or pain of any sort overtake them. While there are days we feel like we are hanging on by a thread to muster up the energy needed to conquer the next mommy moment before us, we still do not want to give that task to anyone else. Even on the hard days, we can still find purpose and fulfillment in knowing that we are the ones that have that powerful kiss that makes the boo-boo go away. We have the hug that makes the crackle of that thunder a little less terrifying. We are the ones that get to hold our husband's hand through all the diverse terrains of life. There is JOY in the calling of being a wife and a mom. While hard days might make that joy seem like something we have to reach for and cling to, no one can ever take it away. That is, as long as we don't give it away.
Our days as a wife and mom are going to be filled with curve balls, temper tantrums, messes, and exhaustion. But they will also be filled with fun surprises, laughter, unexpected hugs, and night-time cuddles. It's our choice what we dwell on and how we react to the crazy. God didn't make a mistake when He gave us the name "Mommy", or when He gave us the blessing of being a wife. So now let's not make a mistake in how we respond to life's chaos. Let's choose joy.
After all, joy is one thing we can carry "to infinity and beyond"!
It's almost as if Buzz Lightyear could foresee my sweet family riding his "Space Ranger Spin" at Disney World when he gave us this quote. After trying to entertain and keep peace with a 2 and 4 year old while we waited in line, we eventually all four climbed aboard our space cruiser to begin the space crusade. Piper's face lit up when she saw the shiny red joystick that was glaring at us like a beaming light. This red little gem had the power to sling our space cruiser around in quick motions as it sat defenseless in the death-gripped hand of my 2 year old. After realizing my motion sickness demise, I looked over to see my husband's eyes become fixated on the space cannon in front of him. For the next 5 minutes I was able to absorb an accurate picture of what he would look like as a 10 year old boy who had free reign to a laser gun on a moving ride. A ride that allowed him to gain points for every target that was hit by a blast from his cannon. It was like manna from Heaven for his competitive soul. However, I was a little distracted by all of the red flags being thrown in my face, warning me of the battle Buzz Lightyear and I were about to embark upon. You see, my 4 year old was clinging to me like a cute little baby monkey. She apparently thought that this space crusade was a glimpse into cruel and unusual punishment.
It turned out that my space battlefield consisted of me working incredibly hard to not lose my theme park lunch due to Piper's joyride with the joystick. My duties also included comforting Campbell and covering her eyes from the horror before her, while occasionally throwing a fake smile and a thumbs up in my husbands direction as he gained another 10 points for good aim. I know we were in Disney World and all, but I will not say this particular experience was magical for me. The strategically placed cameras throughout the ride caught a pretty accurate picture.....
That's what mom's do though, right? We do our best to bring some calmness to the crazy when the world suddenly gets chaotic. We ache to comfort our little ones when fear or pain of any sort overtake them. While there are days we feel like we are hanging on by a thread to muster up the energy needed to conquer the next mommy moment before us, we still do not want to give that task to anyone else. Even on the hard days, we can still find purpose and fulfillment in knowing that we are the ones that have that powerful kiss that makes the boo-boo go away. We have the hug that makes the crackle of that thunder a little less terrifying. We are the ones that get to hold our husband's hand through all the diverse terrains of life. There is JOY in the calling of being a wife and a mom. While hard days might make that joy seem like something we have to reach for and cling to, no one can ever take it away. That is, as long as we don't give it away.
Our days as a wife and mom are going to be filled with curve balls, temper tantrums, messes, and exhaustion. But they will also be filled with fun surprises, laughter, unexpected hugs, and night-time cuddles. It's our choice what we dwell on and how we react to the crazy. God didn't make a mistake when He gave us the name "Mommy", or when He gave us the blessing of being a wife. So now let's not make a mistake in how we respond to life's chaos. Let's choose joy.
After all, joy is one thing we can carry "to infinity and beyond"!
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Of Infinite Worth
One of the great things about all of this winter weather we've had is that it's made us stop in our tracks and spend uninterrupted time together. Praise Jesus. We have needed some good quality time. The other morning the four of us were playing and cuddling when this interaction took place....
Daddy: Campbell, let me give you a kiss!
Campbell: NEVER! ;)
Daddy: I'm your Daddy and I said to let me give you a kiss!
Campbell: You have to give me some money!
Daddy: Campbell Brooke, there is not enough money in the whole world to pay for one of your kisses.
Campbell: I'll take two dollars!!
At least now we know she doesn't think the tooth fairy is ripping her off. Shew. One fun, little innocent moment took my mommy brain to a different place. I want her to know her worth. I want she and Piper to know they are of infinite value. I made a lot of mistakes in my younger years. Mistakes that I received painful consequences and heartache from. I want my girls to stand firm and confident in their worth and value so that they never feel that same heartache. More importantly, I want them to stand firm and secure in who the Lord has created them to be so they can face troubled times with confidence and boldness. I want them to choose joy when the world tells them to choose bitterness.
So what can I do as their mommy to help them firmly plant their feet in this knowledge? Well, since you asked.....
1) Encourage and Affirm - I want to encourage them in what MATTERS. Yes, I think my girls are gorgeous and I always will. But I want them to know that my favorite qualities are not their golden locks or their blue eyes. I love their joy and their kindness. I love seeing them put their friends before themselves and being a blessing to others. I want to encourage them to not be swayed by what their peers are choosing to do, or by what society tells them is "cool". They are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139) and were created for BIG things. I want to encourage them to seek the Lord and find their purpose in His plan for their life
2) Model It - This is the true test of laying my own insecurities and my own selfish sins at the feet of Jesus. I want to model a woman who treats others, and responds to them, in a way that reflects Christ. I want them to see me pursue the Lord and be in His word. I want to guard my words and keep them from hearing me say negative things about my body. They need to know that the size of my jeans is not what reflects my beauty. But first, I need to make sure I always BELIEVE that. I want them to see me respond to trials and hardships with faith and trust.........not with my inclined nature of fear and worry. I know they WATCH me. They STUDY me. I choose to model what I want them to inherit.
3) Prayer - I spend a lot of time praying for my daughter's physical protection. I need to spend MORE time praying for their spiritual well-being. I need to pray for the health of their heart and mind, that they choose to enter into a relationship with their Heavenly Father. I pray for growth and maturity in a relationship with the Lord, that they will pursue Him with a passion. This spiritual health is what will give them the strength and discipline to resist the lies the world feeds them. Lies about their worth and deceptions about what reflects true beauty. I need to pray that they always find their security in the arms of Christ.
"I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:14
Daddy: Campbell, let me give you a kiss!
Campbell: NEVER! ;)
Daddy: I'm your Daddy and I said to let me give you a kiss!
Campbell: You have to give me some money!
Daddy: Campbell Brooke, there is not enough money in the whole world to pay for one of your kisses.
Campbell: I'll take two dollars!!
At least now we know she doesn't think the tooth fairy is ripping her off. Shew. One fun, little innocent moment took my mommy brain to a different place. I want her to know her worth. I want she and Piper to know they are of infinite value. I made a lot of mistakes in my younger years. Mistakes that I received painful consequences and heartache from. I want my girls to stand firm and confident in their worth and value so that they never feel that same heartache. More importantly, I want them to stand firm and secure in who the Lord has created them to be so they can face troubled times with confidence and boldness. I want them to choose joy when the world tells them to choose bitterness.
So what can I do as their mommy to help them firmly plant their feet in this knowledge? Well, since you asked.....
1) Encourage and Affirm - I want to encourage them in what MATTERS. Yes, I think my girls are gorgeous and I always will. But I want them to know that my favorite qualities are not their golden locks or their blue eyes. I love their joy and their kindness. I love seeing them put their friends before themselves and being a blessing to others. I want to encourage them to not be swayed by what their peers are choosing to do, or by what society tells them is "cool". They are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139) and were created for BIG things. I want to encourage them to seek the Lord and find their purpose in His plan for their life
2) Model It - This is the true test of laying my own insecurities and my own selfish sins at the feet of Jesus. I want to model a woman who treats others, and responds to them, in a way that reflects Christ. I want them to see me pursue the Lord and be in His word. I want to guard my words and keep them from hearing me say negative things about my body. They need to know that the size of my jeans is not what reflects my beauty. But first, I need to make sure I always BELIEVE that. I want them to see me respond to trials and hardships with faith and trust.........not with my inclined nature of fear and worry. I know they WATCH me. They STUDY me. I choose to model what I want them to inherit.
3) Prayer - I spend a lot of time praying for my daughter's physical protection. I need to spend MORE time praying for their spiritual well-being. I need to pray for the health of their heart and mind, that they choose to enter into a relationship with their Heavenly Father. I pray for growth and maturity in a relationship with the Lord, that they will pursue Him with a passion. This spiritual health is what will give them the strength and discipline to resist the lies the world feeds them. Lies about their worth and deceptions about what reflects true beauty. I need to pray that they always find their security in the arms of Christ.
"I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:14
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