BIG mistake.
Piper was sick and we stopped on the way to the doctors office for her sick visit. It was right before a holiday so the line was literally to the door. I held Piper with one arm, the huge stack of catalogs with the other, all while trying to prevent Campbell from pulling everything off the walls as she danced by my side. We finally made it to the front of the line. As Campbell was trying to show everyone she could hold the counter with her hands while climbing up the side of the wall with her feet, I sat Piper on the counter so that I could reach in my purse for my debit card. In those 3-4 seconds she reached behind the clerks computer and found a switch. THE switch. This switch happened to be what controlled the operating system for the entire post office. This computer happened to be the motherboard for all the other computers in the building. I knew it was bad when I looked up to see the anguish and disbelief on the clerks face. Piper had flipped the switch off............of course she had. This realization caused me to immediately get dizzy and overheated. After waiting about 15 minutes, I apologized to the clerk and quickly walked toward the door, avoiding eye contact with everyone waiting. On my way out I heard the clerk apologizing to the long and frustrated line for the wait they were about to endure because their system would not reboot and they were unsure how long it would take. Frazzled and embarrassed, I drove to the doctors office. As I'm getting settled in the crowded waiting room, I look over to see my children doing belly slides across the large center table. Shortly after being punished for that, one of them got loose and started running over the top of all the empty waiting room chairs.....this tempted me to agree with all the judgmental stares I was getting from all the other parents holding their sick children. I could go on and on about the chaos, drama, and threats that took place in that doctors office during our hour and a half wait. By the time we got home, all I wanted to do was sit in fetal position in a dark corner and cry. But there was no time for that.....I needed to snap out of it and comfort my sick 2 year old. Even though I felt the need for a therapist and big piece of chocolate, my little girl felt horrible and needed her Mommy. I had to pull it together.
When we are tired, our little ones still expect energy. When we are overwhelmed, they still expect our attention. When we are scared, they still expect us to make them feel safe. All mother's can agree that our children bring us joy that we never knew was possible. But I think we can also agree that we have some hard days. Days when we wonder what people will think of us if they knew how crazy our eyes can really get. Days when 4 cups of coffee just isn't doing the trick. While the joy is real, the feeling of exhaustion and the desire to be comforted is too. We all have those days when we want to sit down on the floor, in the middle of all the pandemonium, and have someone offer us a hug and a lollipop. We want to be encouraged. We want to be nurtured. We want someone to make us feel safe. In the middle of the night, after we have gotten our child back to sleep due to another mean nightmare, we climb into bed and are kept awake by the fears of life's "what-if's". We want someone to tell us that its all going to be alright. We get frazzled because it seems as though we have used all our strength and energy to comfort and encourage everyone else and we become concerned that we are going to stay in a state of anxious fear. We feel like we are swirling about in a tornado of chaos and it seems laughably ironic that someone is looking to us as the anchor in the middle of their wild waves.
When we are scared, His truth tells us this.....
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deuteronomy 31:6)
When we feel like we have nothing left to give, He tells us otherwise......
"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, yes, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."(Isaiah 41:10)
When we are overwhelmed, He just wants us to look to HIM....
"From the end of the earth, I will cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I." (Psalm 61:2)
When we collapse to our knees in the middle of the floor, overwhelmed by fear and fatigue.............He is there. He is wrapping His arms around us, tucking our hair behind our ear, and whispering, "It's all going to be alright."
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