Tickle Nerves

I have always been a list maker, but when I had a baby my list-making skills went turbo style. Before every one of Campbell's well-visits I would make a list of everything I wanted to ask the pediatrician, usually adding to the list in the waiting room. After we had several visits under our parental belt, Blue felt the need to "look over" my list while we waited. I'm glad it humored him, but deep down he knew that no matter what, I was asking every question on that list. However, there is one particular visit that I should have listened.

I still remember Blue reading over my list and emphatically saying "You need to take that last question off.". I dug my heals in the ground and reminded him that it was a valid question. As a mother, I was concerned and I wanted to hear what Campbell's doctor had to say about it. Once we were in the room, Campbell was examined and I began working through my questions. I can still see Blue's face as he heard me working my way to the last one. I didn't need to hear his words, his face said it all. "Please.........don't do it..........oh no, you're gonna do it..........oh man, here it comes......"

Pediatrician: Well, do y'all have any other questions?
Me: Yes, actually I have one more....
Doctor: Sure, what is it??
Blue: (expression of pure shame)
Me: Umm..........I was just wondering when her tickle nerves were going to come in??
Doctor: (blank stare and silence as she searched for words)

I had read something that said babies would not start giggling from being tickled until a certain age. As an analytical mother who studied her baby's every move, I started to become concerned that she wasn't "reacting" yet..........I thought it was a valid question. Clearly.............I was wrong.

Tickle nerves????..........I have no idea what I was thinking.

It's easy to spend an insane amount of time searching for answers. We search google, we ask experts, we read books, we reach out through social media..........we basically do not stop until we find an answer. However, sometimes we need to stop and evaluate our questions. I think back to questions that plagued me over the years. Questions that kept me awake in my bed at night searching for answers. Will I face tragedy? Will my kids get sick? Will I get to grow old with my husband? Was what I said at the that meeting today stupid?

The fact is, so many of these questions that keep me busy are 100% pointless. I realize now there are so many questions that I don't need to have the answers to. I can rest at peace in today knowing that the One who knows my yesterday and tomorrow already has the answers..........and I want that to be enough. I realize that me not having answers to some of my questions may be the Lord protecting me. I know that as I continue to seek Him, He will give me all the answers I need.

It's just up to me to ask the right questions, and lay down the futile ones.