Unlock the Bathroom Door

Snow.

That pretty, white flakey goodness that falls from the heavens. It's beautiful, isn't it?? When Blue and I lived in SC we rarely were able to take part in the "snow day" fun because we very rarely SAW the white fluff. So when we moved to this part of NC we were pretty excited at the thought of getting to see some snow. We were even more excited about the idea of seeing our girls play in it. We KNEW they would love it. As we waved goodbye to January we started to believe that we just weren't going to see it this year..........to say we were disappointed would be the understatement of the year.

But then it happened. The weatherman said it was coming.

I loaded up the kitchen like I was preparing for the Apocalypse. We went to bed on a Monday night and woke up to the beautiful and white glaring snow on the ground on Tuesday. You better believe we played in it. We were out having snowball fights, sledding, and building a snowman by 10 am. We were all four in a state of winter bliss. Seriously.........look at the pure joy...........

Now we are fully in to week 2 of no school. We have more snow on the ground and more that is coming tomorrow AND the next day. If I'm being real, this is my current emotion............

Don't get me wrong, I know it is still a gift. It is absolutely gorgeous, my girls think its the best thing ever, we got what we have been hoping for...........blah, blah, blah. But ya'll..........I'm about to go crazy. Did ya'll read what I wrote earlier?? "Fully in to week 2 of no school"?? I have moved passed the phase of  "let's put on our snow boots" and am officially putting a temporary wave on the ipad restriction rule. In fact, I'm just hoping it does its job when I am wanting to sneak into the bathroom for 5 minutes of alone time. Thank you, Jesus, for Temple Run. I am clinging to the hope that school will be back in session next week. We NEED school. Yes, my girls scholastic achievements matter and their educational progression is a priority. Sure. But right now............well, right now I just want to sit on the couch with a cup of coffee and watch the 10 o'clock hour of the Today Show uninterrupted. Call it lazy. Call it selfish. Whatever, man. Haters gonna hate. I love my girls more than I love my own life. My brush with a mental collapse is not in a response to anything they have done wrong. They are behaving like a 3 and 5 year old should at this point. My cray-cray attitude is all my own sin and side effects of cabin fever. I know this.

So mama bears out there..............we can do this. We are warriors. We can face this battle of  "Mom vs. Bored Child" and come out on top. I know we have all probably fallen into survival mode..........I know I have. But now is when we need to dig deep. We need to reach into that space where we hide a back-up of "mommy energy". In cyber fashion, let's all join hands to walk to that battle line and punch boredom in the face. Let us agree to not blame our children for our weary attitudes........it's not their fault the school buses can't crank and our home acquired the cabin fever virus. Now it's time for us to take a deep breath, unlock the bathroom door, and come out armed for battle. And by-golly, let's have some FUN.

*Dear Northerners out there,

I know this "situation" we have down here is probably laughable to ya'll. Ya'll can't open your front door because of the snow. You have probably crashed Pinterest looking for activities to entertain your kids with. But please know, this southern struggle is still real. I will pray for rays of sunshine in your neck of the woods too.

Love,
One Tired, Southern Mommy

Cherish and Sift

She turns 6 on August 5th. Six. Years. Old. I have absolutely no idea what happened........

If I am being real, I remember having so many of those days when Campbell was 2 and 3 when I would say things like, "This day is never going to end", or I would sneak in the bathroom and just lock myself in for about 2 or 3 minutes just so that I could regain sanity. On those days time felt as if it was standing still.  Once Piper was born days passed by particularly fast. Moments were busier, my attention was divided, and everything got even louder.
Today I was scrolling through previous year's posts on my Facebook page. I am an epic failure at even the notion of keeping up a baby book, so I have always used Facebook as a way of journaling moments and conversations with my girls. As I was reading through them I was reminded how quickly time passes.
The fact is, I don't remember the things that happened that caused me to lock myself in the bathroom, or the emotional breakdowns that made me feel like a failure as a mother. But as I was looking through those moments on Facebook, I DO remember the joy, the laughter, and the milestones. I remember those times that Campbell stopped me in my tracks with her humor and her flare when she was barely even talking. Now she is almost 6. Where has the time gone? Each picture that I looked at, and every conversation I read, reminded me to cherish the moment and sift out my crazy.

Here are a few of the conversations from years past.....
_________________________________
March 9, 2013

Blue: Mommy, look! Campbell ate all of her chicken nuggets, all of her green beans, and half of her broccoli casserole! Didn't she do good??
Me: Wow, Campbell! You DID do good! I am so proud of you!
Campbell: Thanks. I couldn't have done it without Daddy.
_________________________________
May 22, 2013

Campbell had to eat leftovers for lunch today....

Campbell: Why are we eating this again?
Me: Because God gave it to us and we are going to eat it.
Campbell: But didn't God give us some other stuff?
__________________________________
July 17, 2013

Campbell got sick (aka - threw up) on herself in the car on the way home from VBS. I felt helpless because we were driving and less than 5 minutes from home....

Me: I am so sorry, honey.....I am going as quick as I can. I am so sorry you are sick!
Campbell: (crying)
Me: Oh sweetie, I am so sorry!
Campbell: Mommy......(sniff, cry, sniff)......
Me: Yes, baby??
Campbell: (holds up her arm and holds out her little finger)......(sniff, cry, sniff).....will you paint this fingernail again because all of the sparklies have come off of it.....(cry, cry, cry)...
__________________________________
July 29, 2013

During a popcorn snack, while Piper napped, I attempted conversation....

Me: So what is your favorite thing we have done today?
Campbell: (looks at me and chews)
Me: So are you excited about your birthday?
Campbell: (looks at me and chews)
Me: What flavor cake do you want?
Campbell: (looks at me and chews)
Me: (I silently chew)
Campbell: Mommy, do you know why I'm not answering you?
Me: Yes.
Campbell: Because I want to eat.
_________________________________
August 20, 2013

Me: If I see either of you girls misbehave, or disobey the rules, you are both going to your rooms.
 (I step in the other room)
Campbell: (yelling) Mommy, did you see us???
_________________________________
October 2, 2013

I was laying Piper down for a nap and Campbell comes running in the room with a bunny/blanket that Piper likes to snuggle with...

Campbell: Wait!.......Piper, here you go....
Me: Piper, tell Campbell thank you.
Piper: Tank-ooo, Cambull.
Campbell: (as she walks away) Your welcome......just doin' my job.
__________________________________
November 12, 2013

While I was changing Piper's diaper she was pretty upset and Campbell came running over to comfort her....

Campbell: Piper, you want a hug?
Piper: No
Campbell: You want a kiss?
Piper: No
Campbell: You want me to rub your belly?
Piper: No
Campbell: Want me to play the drums?
Piper, Yes. Drums.

Piper pulls up her shirt and Campbell plays the drums on her belly.
__________________________________
From the ages of 2 to 4 Campbell could fall asleep anywhere and anyhow. She usually preferred to be in princess attire and would get out of bed to dress accordingly. Here are some of my favorites......

Valentine's Day Rap

Hey!  I (Blue) have high jacked Heather's blog. Today marks the anniversary of the greatest Valentine's Day gift that I have ever received and I wanted to share it with you all.  I have the coolest wife ever. I love you, Heather Bryan, but apparently not enough to do my own rap.  Click the link and enjoy.


Valentines Day Rap for the Hubs

Fairytale Mirage

I will be the first to say that I love Chick Flicks. It's usually always the same predictable plot: boy and girl are about to reveal their love, then drama unfolds, and in the last 15 minutes they triumph all odds and seal their love with a kiss. I've seen it dozens of times but I'm still a sucker for it. Don't get me wrong, I love a good ol' CIA movie as well, but there is something about one of those sappy love stories that puts you in a floating dream-like state. While I was still single I remember watching those movies with my girlfriends and then imagining how those last 15 minutes would play out in my own life. Poor guys..........it's no wonder they hate chick flicks.
When Blue and I first met in 2003 we quickly decided that we did not like each other. And I mean even as friends. We pretty much avoided each other for about a year. In 2004, for a number of reasons, our worlds collided and we realized that our first impressions were totally off base. Blue quickly became one of my best friends and also one of my main sources for dating advice. However, we were both surprised, and relieved, when the Lord revealed our "last 15 minutes" with each other in 2006. Blue gave me an incredible engagement story, we said "I do", and then we walked away hand in hand to begin our life together as husband and wife.
Now its time for us all to sit down and take a deep breath...........seriously, just take a moment to sit back and brace yourself. Here it comes........

Fairytales. Don't. Exist.

Woah. I know, I know........I'm the evil messenger. As it turns out, fights don't always resolve to a sweet kiss while Boyz II Men play in the background. Apparently, Blue can't read my mind and he doesn't have an arsenal of romantic gestures to throw at me. And here is the real nail biter.......believe it or not, I actually mess up from time to time. My mess ups made me come to the conclusion that my marriage does not revolve around my ever-changing mood..............I  know, I was shocked too. I was pretty surprised to discover that Blue did not have secret romantic dates planned out in advance. If Blue is being honest, he was probably a little taken back to find out I wasn't in the kitchen cooking dinner with my hair curled and my make-up on when he came home from work. My lounge pants and the shirt I wore to bed the night before definitely sang a different tune. Previous notions and expectations became laughable for both of us.

There is no possible way Blue, or any man, could possibly live up to the standard that these Blockbuster love stories create. While I could sit down with a tub of popcorn and watch Nicholas Sparks movies marathon style, I have to separate fact from fiction. But here is the AWESOME thing...........my love story is even better. It is better because it is REAL. It has its ups and it has its downs. It has laughter and it has fights. It has stupid mistakes and it has grace. Through all of the beauty and blunders that my marriage holds, there will always be romance in the fact that at the end of the day we CHOOSE to make our marriage work and grow.  We choose to commit each step we take together to Christ. We choose to forgive each other for the blunders because we know that we have been forgiven by the One who loves perfectly.On October 7, 2006 we may not have ridden off in the sunset toward a life that reflects a box office hit, but we did begin a real story of love, grace and a lot of fun. Let's not let the mirage of a fairytale destroy the blessings of our reality.

As we approach Valentines Day this week let's celebrate and imitate the One who loves perfectly. He loves with forgiveness, grace, and gentleness. He loves sacrificially, fully, and without restraint.  Instead of getting caught up in the Hollywood story of romance, let's treasure the gift God gave us in our spouse and make every effort to emulate His perfect love.

"We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19

A Letter to the Younger Me

Dear Younger Heather,

I wish I could sit you down, shake your shoulders, and throw some cold water on your face. I know you are struggling because you just broke up with your boyfriend, your concerned about tomorrow, and you gained some weight over the weekend, but trust me............you are so, so blessed. I know that all you know is the "now" and there are days when you feel like you are carrying the stresses of the world. But girl, oh how I WISH you knew what I know now.

Let's talk about those heartbreaks. I know the pain is real and it feels like your world is falling apart. You feel like your value is threatened and your security has plummeted. The plans you had laid out have fallen apart and now you are wondering how to let go. Oh Heather, I wish you would just look up. The Lord has plans that are SO MUCH BETTER. He already has an incredibly special boy picked out for you. Heather, this guy is going to blow you away. I mean seriously, you are going to laugh at the fact that you are crying right now. When you meet him you are going to realize that you never even knew what you needed. Even though your heartbreak is real and the pain hurts, I promise that you will soon be thankful for those tears. The Lord is rescuing you from a path that is not for you, and He is leading you to a path that is PERFECT. Just trust God. You may think He forgot you, but I promise He hasn't. He is just preparing you and drawing you closer to Him.

Everyone around you knows what they want to do after graduation and, whats even more disturbing, is they are excited about it. I know you are playing it cool, but they are really freaking you out. Not only have you changed your major 3 times but you still have no idea what to do after they give you your diploma. The Lord has a special plan for you. It's alright if you don't have all the answers now. God promised you a bright hope and a future.............and Heather, it is so, so bright. Don't let everyone else make you feel pressured to know tomorrow now. Their story is different. Just keep praying and buckle up..........you have some fun and exciting things ahead of you.

Lastly, would you PLEASE quit calling yourself fat?!?! I mean seriously..........shut it. You need to rock those shorts while you still can. And every time your best friend hears you complain about your thighs or your "stomach" please tell her I said to shove a cupcake down your throat.

Heather, I wish you could face each day knowing that God is so much bigger that what you are facing. Just choose to trust Him and the path He is leading you down instead of trying to pave a path yourself. His plan is SO much better than what you are drawing up. Even when you face pain, please don't stop trusting. Let Him make you stronger and wiser through the hurt. The blessings are endless and abundant........just open your eyes.

Love,
The Older You

PS: Just remember, through the hurt you found blessings and through the unanswered questions you found a perfect plan. That was the LORD. That was His love, protection, and sovereignty in your life. In 10 or 15 years, you are still going to make mistakes and you are still going to struggle with worrying about "today". When you make those mistakes and when you find yourself stressing over the details of life, please just choose to trust Him and give Him thanks for what He has done. He has proven Himself to you in more ways than one.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6