I wish I could sit you down, shake your shoulders, and throw some cold water on your face. I know you are struggling because you just broke up with your boyfriend, your concerned about tomorrow, and you gained some weight over the weekend, but trust me............you are so, so blessed. I know that all you know is the "now" and there are days when you feel like you are carrying the stresses of the world. But girl, oh how I WISH you knew what I know now.
Let's talk about those heartbreaks. I know the pain is real and it feels like your world is falling apart. You feel like your value is threatened and your security has plummeted. The plans you had laid out have fallen apart and now you are wondering how to let go. Oh Heather, I wish you would just look up. The Lord has plans that are SO MUCH BETTER. He already has an incredibly special boy picked out for you. Heather, this guy is going to blow you away. I mean seriously, you are going to laugh at the fact that you are crying right now. When you meet him you are going to realize that you never even knew what you needed. Even though your heartbreak is real and the pain hurts, I promise that you will soon be thankful for those tears. The Lord is rescuing you from a path that is not for you, and He is leading you to a path that is PERFECT. Just trust God. You may think He forgot you, but I promise He hasn't. He is just preparing you and drawing you closer to Him.
Everyone around you knows what they want to do after graduation and, whats even more disturbing, is they are excited about it. I know you are playing it cool, but they are really freaking you out. Not only have you changed your major 3 times but you still have no idea what to do after they give you your diploma. The Lord has a special plan for you. It's alright if you don't have all the answers now. God promised you a bright hope and a future.............and Heather, it is so, so bright. Don't let everyone else make you feel pressured to know tomorrow now. Their story is different. Just keep praying and buckle up..........you have some fun and exciting things ahead of you.
Lastly, would you PLEASE quit calling yourself fat?!?! I mean seriously..........shut it. You need to rock those shorts while you still can. And every time your best friend hears you complain about your thighs or your "stomach" please tell her I said to shove a cupcake down your throat.
Heather, I wish you could face each day knowing that God is so much bigger that what you are facing. Just choose to trust Him and the path He is leading you down instead of trying to pave a path yourself. His plan is SO much better than what you are drawing up. Even when you face pain, please don't stop trusting. Let Him make you stronger and wiser through the hurt. The blessings are endless and abundant........just open your eyes.
Love,
The Older You
PS: Just remember, through the hurt you found blessings and through the unanswered questions you found a perfect plan. That was the LORD. That was His love, protection, and sovereignty in your life. In 10 or 15 years, you are still going to make mistakes and you are still going to struggle with worrying about "today". When you make those mistakes and when you find yourself stressing over the details of life, please just choose to trust Him and give Him thanks for what He has done. He has proven Himself to you in more ways than one.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
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