I have a new blog! I have changed looks and decided to go more "official"..........
Please continue to follow me at gigglesofgrace.com!
Friday, July 10, 2015
Saturday, June 20, 2015
The Best Teacher
I have been a student the majority of my life. Preschool, elementary school, middle school, high school, college, and then graduate school. I suppose that means I should be pretty well educated (as long as you don't ask me anything about history, chemistry, algebra, geometry.........and don't you dare bring up physics). I have had many impressionable teachers and I have been blessed with professors that took the time to not only help me, but to know me. I am blessed by the impact these teachers have had in my life. While I am thankful for the role these people have had, there is one person who stands leaps and bounds before all of them. He has been the most influential person in my life and has taught me more than any other about the things in life that really matter.
He is my dad.
It is ridiculous to even try to attempt to fill this tiny blog with a list of all the things he has taught me, or to even begin to explain the impact he has had in my life. There is just not enough space. But let me tell you a few trinkets of truth he has instilled in me....
Know the Bible. Don't just base what I believe on what someone else said about their stance on Scripture. I need to read it myself...........study it, know it. As I have gone through trials in my life he has pointed me to stories from the Bible. He has helped me to see how the Lord's truth in the midst of these stories applies to my life and my current circumstances. Knowing the Bible will help guide us through the trials of today.
Be honest. Even if it gets you in trouble..........even if it embarrasses you.........the end of the story will always be so much better if you will just be honest. Integrity defines you and it is never worth sacrificing to save a little face.
Look people in the eye. When you are speaking with someone, even when you are just listening..........always, always, always look them in the eye. This shows respect. To fail at this only sends a message that the other person doesn't matter enough to hold your attention..........don't be a jerk. Look em' in the eye.
Always pull forward at the gas station. Don't stop at the first pump when you stop to fill up the ol' tank, if the further most pump is empty you should pull up. This is among one of the simple things we can do to make things easier for other people. We should think about others first, even in the small and tedious tasks of life.
Always check my oil. I may be a girl, but I don't have to be a damsel in distress that relies on someone else to take care of me. Let's just say I am 17 years old and call my parents because my car won't start back up after I stopped at a gas station for a Sun-Drop after cheerleading practice. Now let's say it was because the oil was apparently drip-dry because the said 17 year old failed to keep an eye on her oil..........well........that would be her own fault. I'm sure her dad taught her better than that.
Know what's going on in the world. Not gonna lie.......I'm still not great at this. But my sweet Dad sure has tried. He has taught me that I am responsible to know what is going on in the world we live in, and how it effects me. I'm a work in progress.
We are not owed anything. My dad is the hardest worker I have ever known, working hard since he was 12. He set goals and worked hard to reach them, never approaching anything in life with a sense of entitlement. If I want something, he taught me to work for it.............receiving it will feel so much more satisfying if I earned it.
Family is always there. No matter how crazy life feels.........family brings some sanity. No matter how beat up you feel from the punches of life........family gives you the support you need to keep moving forward. When you are sad, your family always has some hugs waiting to cheer you up. No matter how lost you feel, your family is always home.
My dad means more to me than words could ever say. He has impacted my life in ways that have helped make me who I am today. He has taught me what it means to live a life of commitment to the Lord and to serve others. He has taught me what it means to live a life of integrity. He has taught me the value of hard work and the joy of earning what you worked for. He has taught me that family has your back no matter where you are in life.............they are the support system that will always be there ready to catch you when you begin to fall. He has not only taught me these valuable life truths...........he has shown me. He has shown me in the way he treats everyone who meets and knows him. He is kind, honest, gentle, humble, servant-hearted, and genuine. He is full of integrity and shows respect to everyone he meets.
I'm grown now (we won't discuss how grown) and am now married with two little girls of my own. I guess I have my own little classroom now. I often have flashbacks of moments with my dad as I'm trying my best to teach them some of the life lessons he taught me. I hope and I pray that I can do half as good a job as he did at being their teacher. I may be older and I may now have students of my own, but there are several things that will never change...............I will always be his most dedicated student, his classroom will always be the most inspiring, and he will always be my favorite teacher.
The best teacher.
He is my dad.
It is ridiculous to even try to attempt to fill this tiny blog with a list of all the things he has taught me, or to even begin to explain the impact he has had in my life. There is just not enough space. But let me tell you a few trinkets of truth he has instilled in me....
Know the Bible. Don't just base what I believe on what someone else said about their stance on Scripture. I need to read it myself...........study it, know it. As I have gone through trials in my life he has pointed me to stories from the Bible. He has helped me to see how the Lord's truth in the midst of these stories applies to my life and my current circumstances. Knowing the Bible will help guide us through the trials of today.
Be honest. Even if it gets you in trouble..........even if it embarrasses you.........the end of the story will always be so much better if you will just be honest. Integrity defines you and it is never worth sacrificing to save a little face.
Look people in the eye. When you are speaking with someone, even when you are just listening..........always, always, always look them in the eye. This shows respect. To fail at this only sends a message that the other person doesn't matter enough to hold your attention..........don't be a jerk. Look em' in the eye.
Always pull forward at the gas station. Don't stop at the first pump when you stop to fill up the ol' tank, if the further most pump is empty you should pull up. This is among one of the simple things we can do to make things easier for other people. We should think about others first, even in the small and tedious tasks of life.
Always check my oil. I may be a girl, but I don't have to be a damsel in distress that relies on someone else to take care of me. Let's just say I am 17 years old and call my parents because my car won't start back up after I stopped at a gas station for a Sun-Drop after cheerleading practice. Now let's say it was because the oil was apparently drip-dry because the said 17 year old failed to keep an eye on her oil..........well........that would be her own fault. I'm sure her dad taught her better than that.
Know what's going on in the world. Not gonna lie.......I'm still not great at this. But my sweet Dad sure has tried. He has taught me that I am responsible to know what is going on in the world we live in, and how it effects me. I'm a work in progress.
We are not owed anything. My dad is the hardest worker I have ever known, working hard since he was 12. He set goals and worked hard to reach them, never approaching anything in life with a sense of entitlement. If I want something, he taught me to work for it.............receiving it will feel so much more satisfying if I earned it.
Family is always there. No matter how crazy life feels.........family brings some sanity. No matter how beat up you feel from the punches of life........family gives you the support you need to keep moving forward. When you are sad, your family always has some hugs waiting to cheer you up. No matter how lost you feel, your family is always home.
My dad means more to me than words could ever say. He has impacted my life in ways that have helped make me who I am today. He has taught me what it means to live a life of commitment to the Lord and to serve others. He has taught me what it means to live a life of integrity. He has taught me the value of hard work and the joy of earning what you worked for. He has taught me that family has your back no matter where you are in life.............they are the support system that will always be there ready to catch you when you begin to fall. He has not only taught me these valuable life truths...........he has shown me. He has shown me in the way he treats everyone who meets and knows him. He is kind, honest, gentle, humble, servant-hearted, and genuine. He is full of integrity and shows respect to everyone he meets.
I'm grown now (we won't discuss how grown) and am now married with two little girls of my own. I guess I have my own little classroom now. I often have flashbacks of moments with my dad as I'm trying my best to teach them some of the life lessons he taught me. I hope and I pray that I can do half as good a job as he did at being their teacher. I may be older and I may now have students of my own, but there are several things that will never change...............I will always be his most dedicated student, his classroom will always be the most inspiring, and he will always be my favorite teacher.
The best teacher.
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Strut His Stuff
Piper has always marched to the beat of her own drum. It is a very loud drum........one that is probably neon pink with a zebra print on the side. And she would probably choose to beat the drum with arrows from her bow instead of the drumsticks because........well.........that's just how she would like it. She has never been one to worry about what others think. Not only has she never worried about it, she would confidently strut her stuff in front of anyone who even tried to say her outfit didn't match. In fact, I'm pretty sure that most adults we pass in Walmart judge me for having her shoes on the wrong feet. If only they could have been a fly on our wall that morning........they would have seen me try to convince her to let me switch her sparkly pink shoes to the right foot. But when she throws that cute little chin up and says, "I wike it wike dat," I always decide it's just not worth the battle. So judge away, Walmart patrons.............judge away.
There are countless qualities that I love about my passionate little 4 year old. But I have to say, her confidence in the midst of pressures to conform and her passion to beat that loud unique drum, are the qualities that I love and respect the most. I pray that she stands strong in how the Lord made her and that she never becomes influenced by the world around her. She teaches me so much through those mismatched outfits and she encourages me with that strut of confidence.
Being a pastor's wife, there are a lot of stereotypes as to what we are supposed to be gifted at. In fact, just the other day I was at a dental appointment. When the dentist saw that I was married to a pastor, this is how the conversation went....
Dentist: You are married to a pastor?
Me: Yes, I am.
Dentist: Do you play the piano?
Me: Nope.
Dentist: Do you sing?
Me: Nope.
Dentist: What? Aren't pastor's wives suppose to be able to do those things?
Me: I sure hope not.
Dentist: Well, I think if I were your husband, that would have been reason enough not to marry you.
I'm pretty sure he was joking (at least that's what I'm telling myself), but the fact is, he is not the first person that has said something like this to me. These talents and gifts are usually just expected of pastor's wives. I am here to tell you right now, the Lord's church at Fairview Baptist is incredibly musically talented. I am blown away each week by how the Lord blessed the members in their abilities to sing and play instruments. But if I were to show up at choir practice, or start moving my fingers on the piano, there would be an emergency prayer chain and a new committee formed to keep the pastor's wife busy so that she will not have time to test out her vibrato skills. It is just not my gift and it is not how the Lord wants to use me.
The hard part is being confident in that truth and not caring what others think. There are times that I find myself envious of pastor's wives who are able to live up to that expectation. Why do I let myself feel disappointed about not using a gift that the Lord never even gave me to begin with? The fact is, there are gifts that He did give me. There are passions that He did place on my heart, and a calling and a plan that He designed specifically for me. While I will never sing a solo with the worship band, I am blessed and excited to use the gifts that He purposely instilled in me. Piper encourages and challenges me to not be concerned about the expectations that others have of me, but to embrace the passions and gifts He gave me so that I may be used to accomplish His purposes ................and then I can strut His stuff with confidence.
There are countless qualities that I love about my passionate little 4 year old. But I have to say, her confidence in the midst of pressures to conform and her passion to beat that loud unique drum, are the qualities that I love and respect the most. I pray that she stands strong in how the Lord made her and that she never becomes influenced by the world around her. She teaches me so much through those mismatched outfits and she encourages me with that strut of confidence.
Being a pastor's wife, there are a lot of stereotypes as to what we are supposed to be gifted at. In fact, just the other day I was at a dental appointment. When the dentist saw that I was married to a pastor, this is how the conversation went....
Dentist: You are married to a pastor?
Me: Yes, I am.
Dentist: Do you play the piano?
Me: Nope.
Dentist: Do you sing?
Me: Nope.
Dentist: What? Aren't pastor's wives suppose to be able to do those things?
Me: I sure hope not.
Dentist: Well, I think if I were your husband, that would have been reason enough not to marry you.
I'm pretty sure he was joking (at least that's what I'm telling myself), but the fact is, he is not the first person that has said something like this to me. These talents and gifts are usually just expected of pastor's wives. I am here to tell you right now, the Lord's church at Fairview Baptist is incredibly musically talented. I am blown away each week by how the Lord blessed the members in their abilities to sing and play instruments. But if I were to show up at choir practice, or start moving my fingers on the piano, there would be an emergency prayer chain and a new committee formed to keep the pastor's wife busy so that she will not have time to test out her vibrato skills. It is just not my gift and it is not how the Lord wants to use me.
The hard part is being confident in that truth and not caring what others think. There are times that I find myself envious of pastor's wives who are able to live up to that expectation. Why do I let myself feel disappointed about not using a gift that the Lord never even gave me to begin with? The fact is, there are gifts that He did give me. There are passions that He did place on my heart, and a calling and a plan that He designed specifically for me. While I will never sing a solo with the worship band, I am blessed and excited to use the gifts that He purposely instilled in me. Piper encourages and challenges me to not be concerned about the expectations that others have of me, but to embrace the passions and gifts He gave me so that I may be used to accomplish His purposes ................and then I can strut His stuff with confidence.
Friday, May 29, 2015
Eternal Perspective
This has been a tough week.
While I feel the need to write that sentence, I feel equally embarrassed and ridiculous to claim this week as a hard week for me. You see, what qualifies as a tough week for me pales immensely in comparison to others who have had the toughest week of their lives.
I have been so overwhelmed this week by tragedy and loss of those around me..........some of these families I know on a personal level, and while I have never met others, my heart has been broken over what they are walking through. Children have lost their mother and now have to experience every milestone in their life without her. Parents have lost their young children and now have to go home to their bedroom to pick little toys up off the floor..........desperately wishing they could see them be played with one more time. This week I have been timid of turning on the television because of all the updated breaking stories that inform us of additional fatalities due to natural disasters. I have been overwhelmed. The Lord gave me the gift of compassion, which I am thankful for, and He has used this gift through His calling of my life. However, in weeks like these, it feels like a burden. I have struggled to take my mind away from these tragedies. I have laid in bed at night thinking about these sweet families, wondering how in the world they will ever be able to sleep peacefully again. As I drive down the road, I feel literal pain as my heart aches thinking about their reality.
I have been overwhelmed.
Weeks like these cause me to become emotionally exhausted. Not only because of the ache in my heart that breaks for their pain, but also because of my own personal struggles. These sweet souls are walking in the trenches of my worst fears. I am 100% confident that Satan, the author of lies, uses these tragedies to attack my weaknesses. Because my biggest fear is facing the loss of my loved ones, weeks like these cause me to struggle. I know that Satan wants me to become crippled by this fear, and if I'm being honest, a week like this one normally causes me to fail in giving him a foothold. I know that I do not deserve to be free of such an immense loss any more than these hurting parents who are now burying their children do. This week I have found myself continually kissing my girl's forehead as they slept, and as I've listened to them breathe I thank the Lord that I got to say bedtime prayers with them. Then, as I lay my head on my pillow, my heart breaks as I think about the parents who can't do the same. I don't know why these things have to happen. I don't know why parents have to bury their children, or why a little girl can never wrap her arms around her mothers neck again. But here's what I do know.......
God is still good.
In the midst of our heartache, He is full of compassion and comfort....
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort." 2 Corinthians 1:3
When we feel weak, He will give us strength....
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
Even though we feel forgotten, He has already promised to never leave us nor forsake us.....
"For the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
He will carry us through our pain, wipe our tears, and restore joy....
"...weeping may last for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5
In the midst of our fears, He brings peace.....
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." John 14:27
When speaking to a mother who just lost her child, I know that I have no words to offer her that will take away her pain. But what I do know, is that the God of all comfort is wrapping His arms around her and will carry her through her pain. He has not left her side and is holding her close as she asks Him, "Why??" He is there, in the midst of the pain, catching every tear that falls from His little girl's eye. While He never promised us that we will live our lives free of trials or heartache, He does promise us that He will give us the strength we need to persevere through them. Let us trust Him with every facet of our fears and every detail of our life, knowing that He will meet our needs with a love that is beyond all measure. May that trust give us the confidence to approach His throne with an eternal perspective, knowing that no matter the path.........He is worthy to be praised.
While I feel the need to write that sentence, I feel equally embarrassed and ridiculous to claim this week as a hard week for me. You see, what qualifies as a tough week for me pales immensely in comparison to others who have had the toughest week of their lives.
I have been so overwhelmed this week by tragedy and loss of those around me..........some of these families I know on a personal level, and while I have never met others, my heart has been broken over what they are walking through. Children have lost their mother and now have to experience every milestone in their life without her. Parents have lost their young children and now have to go home to their bedroom to pick little toys up off the floor..........desperately wishing they could see them be played with one more time. This week I have been timid of turning on the television because of all the updated breaking stories that inform us of additional fatalities due to natural disasters. I have been overwhelmed. The Lord gave me the gift of compassion, which I am thankful for, and He has used this gift through His calling of my life. However, in weeks like these, it feels like a burden. I have struggled to take my mind away from these tragedies. I have laid in bed at night thinking about these sweet families, wondering how in the world they will ever be able to sleep peacefully again. As I drive down the road, I feel literal pain as my heart aches thinking about their reality.
I have been overwhelmed.
Weeks like these cause me to become emotionally exhausted. Not only because of the ache in my heart that breaks for their pain, but also because of my own personal struggles. These sweet souls are walking in the trenches of my worst fears. I am 100% confident that Satan, the author of lies, uses these tragedies to attack my weaknesses. Because my biggest fear is facing the loss of my loved ones, weeks like these cause me to struggle. I know that Satan wants me to become crippled by this fear, and if I'm being honest, a week like this one normally causes me to fail in giving him a foothold. I know that I do not deserve to be free of such an immense loss any more than these hurting parents who are now burying their children do. This week I have found myself continually kissing my girl's forehead as they slept, and as I've listened to them breathe I thank the Lord that I got to say bedtime prayers with them. Then, as I lay my head on my pillow, my heart breaks as I think about the parents who can't do the same. I don't know why these things have to happen. I don't know why parents have to bury their children, or why a little girl can never wrap her arms around her mothers neck again. But here's what I do know.......
God is still good.
In the midst of our heartache, He is full of compassion and comfort....
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort." 2 Corinthians 1:3
When we feel weak, He will give us strength....
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
Even though we feel forgotten, He has already promised to never leave us nor forsake us.....
"For the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
He will carry us through our pain, wipe our tears, and restore joy....
"...weeping may last for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5
In the midst of our fears, He brings peace.....
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." John 14:27
When speaking to a mother who just lost her child, I know that I have no words to offer her that will take away her pain. But what I do know, is that the God of all comfort is wrapping His arms around her and will carry her through her pain. He has not left her side and is holding her close as she asks Him, "Why??" He is there, in the midst of the pain, catching every tear that falls from His little girl's eye. While He never promised us that we will live our lives free of trials or heartache, He does promise us that He will give us the strength we need to persevere through them. Let us trust Him with every facet of our fears and every detail of our life, knowing that He will meet our needs with a love that is beyond all measure. May that trust give us the confidence to approach His throne with an eternal perspective, knowing that no matter the path.........He is worthy to be praised.
Friday, May 22, 2015
Tickle Nerves
I have always been a list maker, but when I had a baby my list-making skills went turbo style. Before every one of Campbell's well-visits I would make a list of everything I wanted to ask the pediatrician, usually adding to the list in the waiting room. After we had several visits under our parental belt, Blue felt the need to "look over" my list while we waited. I'm glad it humored him, but deep down he knew that no matter what, I was asking every question on that list. However, there is one particular visit that I should have listened.
I still remember Blue reading over my list and emphatically saying "You need to take that last question off.". I dug my heals in the ground and reminded him that it was a valid question. As a mother, I was concerned and I wanted to hear what Campbell's doctor had to say about it. Once we were in the room, Campbell was examined and I began working through my questions. I can still see Blue's face as he heard me working my way to the last one. I didn't need to hear his words, his face said it all. "Please.........don't do it..........oh no, you're gonna do it..........oh man, here it comes......"
Pediatrician: Well, do y'all have any other questions?
Me: Yes, actually I have one more....
Doctor: Sure, what is it??
Blue: (expression of pure shame)
Me: Umm..........I was just wondering when her tickle nerves were going to come in??
Doctor: (blank stare and silence as she searched for words)
I had read something that said babies would not start giggling from being tickled until a certain age. As an analytical mother who studied her baby's every move, I started to become concerned that she wasn't "reacting" yet..........I thought it was a valid question. Clearly.............I was wrong.
Tickle nerves????..........I have no idea what I was thinking.
It's easy to spend an insane amount of time searching for answers. We search google, we ask experts, we read books, we reach out through social media..........we basically do not stop until we find an answer. However, sometimes we need to stop and evaluate our questions. I think back to questions that plagued me over the years. Questions that kept me awake in my bed at night searching for answers. Will I face tragedy? Will my kids get sick? Will I get to grow old with my husband? Was what I said at the that meeting today stupid?
The fact is, so many of these questions that keep me busy are 100% pointless. I realize now there are so many questions that I don't need to have the answers to. I can rest at peace in today knowing that the One who knows my yesterday and tomorrow already has the answers..........and I want that to be enough. I realize that me not having answers to some of my questions may be the Lord protecting me. I know that as I continue to seek Him, He will give me all the answers I need.
It's just up to me to ask the right questions, and lay down the futile ones.
I still remember Blue reading over my list and emphatically saying "You need to take that last question off.". I dug my heals in the ground and reminded him that it was a valid question. As a mother, I was concerned and I wanted to hear what Campbell's doctor had to say about it. Once we were in the room, Campbell was examined and I began working through my questions. I can still see Blue's face as he heard me working my way to the last one. I didn't need to hear his words, his face said it all. "Please.........don't do it..........oh no, you're gonna do it..........oh man, here it comes......"
Pediatrician: Well, do y'all have any other questions?
Me: Yes, actually I have one more....
Doctor: Sure, what is it??
Blue: (expression of pure shame)
Me: Umm..........I was just wondering when her tickle nerves were going to come in??
Doctor: (blank stare and silence as she searched for words)
I had read something that said babies would not start giggling from being tickled until a certain age. As an analytical mother who studied her baby's every move, I started to become concerned that she wasn't "reacting" yet..........I thought it was a valid question. Clearly.............I was wrong.
Tickle nerves????..........I have no idea what I was thinking.
It's easy to spend an insane amount of time searching for answers. We search google, we ask experts, we read books, we reach out through social media..........we basically do not stop until we find an answer. However, sometimes we need to stop and evaluate our questions. I think back to questions that plagued me over the years. Questions that kept me awake in my bed at night searching for answers. Will I face tragedy? Will my kids get sick? Will I get to grow old with my husband? Was what I said at the that meeting today stupid?
The fact is, so many of these questions that keep me busy are 100% pointless. I realize now there are so many questions that I don't need to have the answers to. I can rest at peace in today knowing that the One who knows my yesterday and tomorrow already has the answers..........and I want that to be enough. I realize that me not having answers to some of my questions may be the Lord protecting me. I know that as I continue to seek Him, He will give me all the answers I need.
It's just up to me to ask the right questions, and lay down the futile ones.
Monday, May 11, 2015
Dear Mom
Dear Mom,
Being a mom is hard work. Being a good mom is really hard work. Being you, must be flat out exhausting. I am blessed to be your daughter and have spent my entire life watching you and learning from you. Here are some of the things you have taught me about the role of a mom.......
A mother's job description is not only endless, but constantly expanding. She is a chauffeur, a chef, a personal shopper, a nurse, a tutor, a maid, a comedian, and a counselor. She is on duty 24 hours a day, seven days a week. There is no insurance plan and there are no paid holidays. Not only are there no annual reviews to recognize the work that has been accomplished, a mother knows that at least half the work that she puts in never gets recognized at all. She never clocks out and she never takes her mind of her job. She lives and breathes her job, because her job........ is her heart. Despite the hard days, and despite frazzled hair and brinks of mental breakdowns, her job brings her more joy and fulfillment than any million-dollar paycheck ever could. She holds this title with honor and is fully aware of the great responsibility that comes with it.
Having the energy needed to fill this role takes a Red Bull and a prayer chain in and of itself, but when you're a mom to a "curious" kid like me.............well, it takes more than an energy drink to push through the hard days. When I was little, you had to deal with a young daughter who not only lied to you about drawing on the China, but also blamed her sister for it. You had to face each shopping trip to the mall knowing that the same daughter would sit down in the floor upon entrance and take off her shoes, right before she hid in the clothing racks. A few birthdays later, you accepted the fact that your long days were not over. It may have been when you had to explain to that family at the beach that we did not actually live on a farm, and I did not actually milk cows every morning before school, despite what I told them with much detail. Or, I suppose it could have been all those days when you looked under my bed to discover my secret to cleaning my room so fast. As I grew older and the challenges changed colors, you rose to the challenge. Through bad attitudes and bad boyfriends, you not only kept up.............you never clocked out.
Mom, I want you to know that I get it now. Being a mother myself has opened my eyes to so many things............how hard you worked, how much you sacrificed, and how much you love us. As I now fill this role for my family, I just pray that I can triumph in the ever expanding boundaries of its description with the same flying colors. As I'm driving my girls to gymnastics, I think of all the times you shuttled me to every activity with your clothes somehow ironed and your make-up on. As I am shopping online for new clothes for my daughters, I think about all those times you drove me from store to store, all afternoon, to help me find that perfect dress. And by the grace of God, you somehow put up with me having the nerve to complain about being tired. As I am packing up our family to go out of town, I think about how hard you worked to prepare and pack everything we needed for all those week-long beach trips. When I clean the house to prepare for guests, I think about how much you did to prepare our home for holiday gatherings, while I just complained about being hungry. Mom, I want you to know...........I get it now.
I know there are so many things you did while we were growing up that we did not notice...............I want you to know that I notice now. I now realize there are so many things you did for us that we never thanked you for............I want to say, "thank-you". We were blessed to have a mother that always took the time to show us love through endless hugs and couch-time cuddles. You were always there. You never missed a school play or band concert, and you were my biggest cheerleader at every football game. As an adult, I am blessed to have a mother who has never stopped showing her love for me. You listen to me, you encourage me, and you are always there for me. Mom, thank you for the sacrifices you made for us and for placing our well-being before your own. We are so abundantly blessed. Thank you for not only being one of the first people I call with good news, but for also being excited with me. Your support and enthusiasm in my successes have given me confidence, and your counsel and comfort in my failures have encouraged me to grow. It is my hope and my prayer that when my daughters grow up, the thought of me will bring a smile to their face. Because Mom, I want you to know, when I think of you............I smile.
I love you so much. Happy Mother's Day.
Love,
Heather
Being a mom is hard work. Being a good mom is really hard work. Being you, must be flat out exhausting. I am blessed to be your daughter and have spent my entire life watching you and learning from you. Here are some of the things you have taught me about the role of a mom.......
A mother's job description is not only endless, but constantly expanding. She is a chauffeur, a chef, a personal shopper, a nurse, a tutor, a maid, a comedian, and a counselor. She is on duty 24 hours a day, seven days a week. There is no insurance plan and there are no paid holidays. Not only are there no annual reviews to recognize the work that has been accomplished, a mother knows that at least half the work that she puts in never gets recognized at all. She never clocks out and she never takes her mind of her job. She lives and breathes her job, because her job........ is her heart. Despite the hard days, and despite frazzled hair and brinks of mental breakdowns, her job brings her more joy and fulfillment than any million-dollar paycheck ever could. She holds this title with honor and is fully aware of the great responsibility that comes with it.
Having the energy needed to fill this role takes a Red Bull and a prayer chain in and of itself, but when you're a mom to a "curious" kid like me.............well, it takes more than an energy drink to push through the hard days. When I was little, you had to deal with a young daughter who not only lied to you about drawing on the China, but also blamed her sister for it. You had to face each shopping trip to the mall knowing that the same daughter would sit down in the floor upon entrance and take off her shoes, right before she hid in the clothing racks. A few birthdays later, you accepted the fact that your long days were not over. It may have been when you had to explain to that family at the beach that we did not actually live on a farm, and I did not actually milk cows every morning before school, despite what I told them with much detail. Or, I suppose it could have been all those days when you looked under my bed to discover my secret to cleaning my room so fast. As I grew older and the challenges changed colors, you rose to the challenge. Through bad attitudes and bad boyfriends, you not only kept up.............you never clocked out.
Mom, I want you to know that I get it now. Being a mother myself has opened my eyes to so many things............how hard you worked, how much you sacrificed, and how much you love us. As I now fill this role for my family, I just pray that I can triumph in the ever expanding boundaries of its description with the same flying colors. As I'm driving my girls to gymnastics, I think of all the times you shuttled me to every activity with your clothes somehow ironed and your make-up on. As I am shopping online for new clothes for my daughters, I think about all those times you drove me from store to store, all afternoon, to help me find that perfect dress. And by the grace of God, you somehow put up with me having the nerve to complain about being tired. As I am packing up our family to go out of town, I think about how hard you worked to prepare and pack everything we needed for all those week-long beach trips. When I clean the house to prepare for guests, I think about how much you did to prepare our home for holiday gatherings, while I just complained about being hungry. Mom, I want you to know...........I get it now.
I know there are so many things you did while we were growing up that we did not notice...............I want you to know that I notice now. I now realize there are so many things you did for us that we never thanked you for............I want to say, "thank-you". We were blessed to have a mother that always took the time to show us love through endless hugs and couch-time cuddles. You were always there. You never missed a school play or band concert, and you were my biggest cheerleader at every football game. As an adult, I am blessed to have a mother who has never stopped showing her love for me. You listen to me, you encourage me, and you are always there for me. Mom, thank you for the sacrifices you made for us and for placing our well-being before your own. We are so abundantly blessed. Thank you for not only being one of the first people I call with good news, but for also being excited with me. Your support and enthusiasm in my successes have given me confidence, and your counsel and comfort in my failures have encouraged me to grow. It is my hope and my prayer that when my daughters grow up, the thought of me will bring a smile to their face. Because Mom, I want you to know, when I think of you............I smile.
I love you so much. Happy Mother's Day.
Love,
Heather
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Balancing Act
Me: Now girls, when we get there do not take off running through their house, OK?
Campbell and Piper: Mmm'K
Me: And do not jump on their furniture.....
Campbell and Piper: Mmm'K
Me: And when they speak to you, you look them in the eye and answer their questions, OK?
This conversation that took place on the way to visit a family that had been attending our church had very little impact. Twenty minutes into the visit the girls were roaming into other rooms and attempting body flops on their couch. *sigh*
I feel like I am constantly needing to remind myself that Campbell is 5 and Piper is 3. It seems as though I am daily caught in a struggle of balancing grace and expectation. They are kids.......young kids, at that.......and I want them to be kids. I want them to truly relish that carefree perspective of life, run with their arms stretched out, and dance out all that energy that's about to bust through their seams. I want to show grace in the moments of wild commotion and loud squeals because, again, they are 5 and 3. Before I know it, their perspective of life will not be quite so carefree and they will be too cool to dance like no one is watching. I want them to enjoy being little girls. However, I also want them to have manners and show respect. I want them to know they have an expectation to say "please" and "thank-you", to make eye contact with someone they are speaking with, and to not do belly flops on someones couch with they invite you over for dinner. I don't want them to believe their age is an exception to the rule.........I expect them to be respectful.
When I lay my head down at night, my mommy conscious is saying one of two things. I either hear it saying, "You were way too strict on them today......ease up", or I hear "Woman, you need to get off your tail and get those girls in line". I visualize a balance scale with grace on one side and expectation on the other..........I find it to be such a struggle to have consecutive days when one side doesn't outweigh the other. I long for the nights when my head hits the pillow and I hear my mommy conscious say "Girl, you ROCKED that today.". Instead of tipping the scale one way or the other, I just pray for strength and conviction to have an equal dose of both.
If you were continuing to read this in hopes that I had some sort of an answer to offer you....well.... go ahead and take a deep breath because you are about to be really disappointed. I have no clue how to balance that scale. However, I do know two things...1) Not knowing the trick to the trade pushes me to seek the Lord for guidance and direction. It keeps me humble and continually asking the Lord for His forgiveness in the midst of my failures. His continual forgiveness reminds me to show the same mercy to my children. 2) My desire to find a balance and my heart struggle over the imbalances are a reflection of a mother that longs to get it right. I know that I will never be perfect, but I want my girls to know that the woman they call "Mommy" is doing everything in her power to hold that title as perfectly as possible. The blessed weight of longing to get it right only means that it matters enough to never give up trying.
Campbell and Piper: Mmm'K
Me: And do not jump on their furniture.....
Campbell and Piper: Mmm'K
Me: And when they speak to you, you look them in the eye and answer their questions, OK?
This conversation that took place on the way to visit a family that had been attending our church had very little impact. Twenty minutes into the visit the girls were roaming into other rooms and attempting body flops on their couch. *sigh*
I feel like I am constantly needing to remind myself that Campbell is 5 and Piper is 3. It seems as though I am daily caught in a struggle of balancing grace and expectation. They are kids.......young kids, at that.......and I want them to be kids. I want them to truly relish that carefree perspective of life, run with their arms stretched out, and dance out all that energy that's about to bust through their seams. I want to show grace in the moments of wild commotion and loud squeals because, again, they are 5 and 3. Before I know it, their perspective of life will not be quite so carefree and they will be too cool to dance like no one is watching. I want them to enjoy being little girls. However, I also want them to have manners and show respect. I want them to know they have an expectation to say "please" and "thank-you", to make eye contact with someone they are speaking with, and to not do belly flops on someones couch with they invite you over for dinner. I don't want them to believe their age is an exception to the rule.........I expect them to be respectful.
When I lay my head down at night, my mommy conscious is saying one of two things. I either hear it saying, "You were way too strict on them today......ease up", or I hear "Woman, you need to get off your tail and get those girls in line". I visualize a balance scale with grace on one side and expectation on the other..........I find it to be such a struggle to have consecutive days when one side doesn't outweigh the other. I long for the nights when my head hits the pillow and I hear my mommy conscious say "Girl, you ROCKED that today.". Instead of tipping the scale one way or the other, I just pray for strength and conviction to have an equal dose of both.
If you were continuing to read this in hopes that I had some sort of an answer to offer you....well.... go ahead and take a deep breath because you are about to be really disappointed. I have no clue how to balance that scale. However, I do know two things...1) Not knowing the trick to the trade pushes me to seek the Lord for guidance and direction. It keeps me humble and continually asking the Lord for His forgiveness in the midst of my failures. His continual forgiveness reminds me to show the same mercy to my children. 2) My desire to find a balance and my heart struggle over the imbalances are a reflection of a mother that longs to get it right. I know that I will never be perfect, but I want my girls to know that the woman they call "Mommy" is doing everything in her power to hold that title as perfectly as possible. The blessed weight of longing to get it right only means that it matters enough to never give up trying.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Outstretched Hands
Campbell had her first seizure when she was thirteen months old. Even though that scary day happened almost 5 years ago, the visual of seeing your baby girl's eyes roll back in her head, her body turn white, and her lips turn blue is a picture that 5 years can't even begin to blur. I remember adamantly wanting to know why........I wanted to know why it happened, what I could to do protect her, and what they were going to do to prevent it from happening again. I poured out prayers to the Lord asking Him to give us answers. Through appointments and through testing, she was diagnosed with a seizure disorder and we were told by doctors that the best case scenario would be for them to not have any answers to give us as to why she now had this diagnosis. The Lord's presence was felt and He revealed my heart to me. Instead of trusting Him, I was seeking to take control and believe this lie that I could shield her in my own strength from this happening again. My prayer was then transformed.....
Lord, I know You love her even more than I do. I don't have to know why this happened because I know it was not a surprise to You. You knit her together......You know the number of hairs on her head and every beat of her heart.......and I trust You. Lord, I'm still scared......but I know You are in control. I pray You give the doctors wisdom and that her little body will be free from these seizures.
She faced several more seizures and then a couple of months before she was able to wean off her seizure medication she began having vosavagle episodes, which is basically passing out with post seizure symptoms following (pale skin, blue lips, etc.).When these episodes began, the fears and anxiety that I had during her seizures began rearing their ugly heads again. While I found some strength and clarity in the lessons the Lord had taught me, it was still tempting to get carried away with the need for control in a completely uncontrollable situation. Once again I was reminded that I will always be a student in the Lord's classroom.
The fact is, the Lord did not owe me a loving husband or two beautiful girls. He does not owe me their good health. Thankfully, He has chosen to bless me with these treasures. However, these blessings belong to Him...........I am just the one who gets to reap the joy of them. He placed these blessings in the palm of my hand and I am daily responsible to keep my hand outstretched to give the Almighty complete access to mold, mature, and protect His treasures. The moment I begin to tighten my grip and wrap my imperfect fingers around His gifts, I am choosing to not trust Him. The Lord has proven to me that not trusting Him is not protecting the ones I so deeply love and want to shield from harms way.
We all have pain.....we all have sorrow.....we all have heartache that will place us at a fork in the road of deciding how we will respond. I have friends and family who have walked through the trenches of my deepest fears, fears that fill my eyes with tears at just the thought. They have stood in utter despair at that fork in the road and had to choose a path.......the path of blind faith and trust, or the path of bitter anger and resentment. Neither path immediately takes the pain away, but only one leads to joy and freedom. Neither path holds a promise of no future pain or heartache, but only one leads to strength that will help carry you through the next trial. The Lord has used these survivors to show me a picture of strength and His blanket of love and comfort. While I fear being crippled by what the Lord carried them through, He shows me through their strengthened smiles that they chose the path of blind faith and trust. We are not promised all the answers as to "why" things have to happen, but we are promised that He is in complete control of every aspect of our life and He "causes everything to work together for the good of those who love Him" (Romans 8:28). Despite how scary the trenches and the unanswered questions are, He has proven Himself to be worthy of being trusted. I am reminded that living in fears of tomorrow will only rob us of the joys He has given us today.
Lord, thank you for the undeserving treasures You have placed in my life. I pray for the strength to keep my hands outstretched, remembering that the gifts I hold belong to You. I surrender them to You, knowing that You alone can provide for and protect them perfectly. I ask that You give me the wisdom and direction to take care of them, and I humbly thank you for the gift of being able to wrap my arms around them today. It is my desire that I will love them in a way that leads them to trust in You.
Lord, I know You love her even more than I do. I don't have to know why this happened because I know it was not a surprise to You. You knit her together......You know the number of hairs on her head and every beat of her heart.......and I trust You. Lord, I'm still scared......but I know You are in control. I pray You give the doctors wisdom and that her little body will be free from these seizures.
She faced several more seizures and then a couple of months before she was able to wean off her seizure medication she began having vosavagle episodes, which is basically passing out with post seizure symptoms following (pale skin, blue lips, etc.).When these episodes began, the fears and anxiety that I had during her seizures began rearing their ugly heads again. While I found some strength and clarity in the lessons the Lord had taught me, it was still tempting to get carried away with the need for control in a completely uncontrollable situation. Once again I was reminded that I will always be a student in the Lord's classroom.
The fact is, the Lord did not owe me a loving husband or two beautiful girls. He does not owe me their good health. Thankfully, He has chosen to bless me with these treasures. However, these blessings belong to Him...........I am just the one who gets to reap the joy of them. He placed these blessings in the palm of my hand and I am daily responsible to keep my hand outstretched to give the Almighty complete access to mold, mature, and protect His treasures. The moment I begin to tighten my grip and wrap my imperfect fingers around His gifts, I am choosing to not trust Him. The Lord has proven to me that not trusting Him is not protecting the ones I so deeply love and want to shield from harms way.
We all have pain.....we all have sorrow.....we all have heartache that will place us at a fork in the road of deciding how we will respond. I have friends and family who have walked through the trenches of my deepest fears, fears that fill my eyes with tears at just the thought. They have stood in utter despair at that fork in the road and had to choose a path.......the path of blind faith and trust, or the path of bitter anger and resentment. Neither path immediately takes the pain away, but only one leads to joy and freedom. Neither path holds a promise of no future pain or heartache, but only one leads to strength that will help carry you through the next trial. The Lord has used these survivors to show me a picture of strength and His blanket of love and comfort. While I fear being crippled by what the Lord carried them through, He shows me through their strengthened smiles that they chose the path of blind faith and trust. We are not promised all the answers as to "why" things have to happen, but we are promised that He is in complete control of every aspect of our life and He "causes everything to work together for the good of those who love Him" (Romans 8:28). Despite how scary the trenches and the unanswered questions are, He has proven Himself to be worthy of being trusted. I am reminded that living in fears of tomorrow will only rob us of the joys He has given us today.
Lord, thank you for the undeserving treasures You have placed in my life. I pray for the strength to keep my hands outstretched, remembering that the gifts I hold belong to You. I surrender them to You, knowing that You alone can provide for and protect them perfectly. I ask that You give me the wisdom and direction to take care of them, and I humbly thank you for the gift of being able to wrap my arms around them today. It is my desire that I will love them in a way that leads them to trust in You.
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Better Than My Daydreams
Today marks a very special day.
April 21, 1980 is the day Jeremy Blue Bryan was born. In my book, this day is a very significant day in history because the birth of this incredible man was paving the way for many lives to be touched, for the kingdom of God to be furthered, and for a girl named Heather to very happily say "I do".
When I was a little girl I would daydream about one day wearing a pretty, white wedding dress. To be honest, I wasn't in the least bit concerned with the groom.........in fact, I don't even know if that role even played into my daydream. As I got older, I realized this aspect of the scene was quite essential. This realization led me to begin wondering what he would be like. If I'm being real, in high school that really boiled down to me being curious about what he would look like and whether or not I would have a quirky last name. As the years progressed to college, I eventually gained a pinch of maturity which brought with it the truth that his looks were not nearly as important as his heart. I began to daydream of walking down the aisle to my best friend and making a promise to someone who made me a better person.
It's funny how the Lord takes our daydreams and reveals to us that our imaginations can not even begin to compare to the beautiful plans He has predestined for us. Before I met Blue, I thought I knew what I needed.....I thought I knew what I wanted.......but the Lord showed me there was so much I didn't know. He showed me this by placing a strong, sarcastic, and genuine man named Blue Bryan in my path. While we did not exactly start off on the best foot, the Lord still had a plan for us.
A very close friendship was eventually formed, which blossomed into a dating relationship, which then blossomed into a marriage. Today, I am humbled and exceedingly thankful to wrap my arms around my precious family of four.......a reality that my daydreams could have never even comprehended.
There are many qualities about him that are not hard to notice immediately...............his good looks, his honesty, and his care and concern for other people. It's equally hard to miss how he carries himself in such an easy-going and personable manner. Quite frankly, the list of qualities that one might notice right away could go on for days. But there are also some qualities that those who have been blessed to have a friendship with him can all agree on. He is genuine. He is confident, yet humble at the same time. He is a strong leader and is easy to trust. There are also qualities about him that only I get to see..........qualities that bless me beyond measure. He sincerely seeks to love me like Christ loves the church. He is easy to submit to. He leads me gently, graciously, and without judgement. He knows that being a father is a gift and he loves our daughters actively with every ounce of his being. He is wise and strong.............but he is also playful, witty and far from being too proud to wear a tiara and fingernail polish if it will make his girls smile.
Blue has taught me a lot about myself. He has taught me to be confident in how the Lord has gifted me and to be bold in how He leads me to serve Him. He has helped me to like who I am and to be patient with myself. Most importantly, having Blue as my husband has allowed me to gain a deeper understanding of God's goodness. Through Blue, I have been able to see a picture of God's grace and perfect timing in my life. Through the Lord's sovereignty I met my husband. The Lord revealed to me that His ways are beyond anything I could ever imagine on my own. I never knew what I needed before I met Blue. Thankfully, my gracious Lord did. Today, I am in awe of His goodness in my life as I celebrate my amazing husband. Being his wife is a constant reminder that He is beyond worthy of being trusted and that His plan is infinitely better than any of my daydreams.
Today marks a very special day.
Happy birthday, Blue. I love you more than I love my own life.
April 21, 1980 is the day Jeremy Blue Bryan was born. In my book, this day is a very significant day in history because the birth of this incredible man was paving the way for many lives to be touched, for the kingdom of God to be furthered, and for a girl named Heather to very happily say "I do".
When I was a little girl I would daydream about one day wearing a pretty, white wedding dress. To be honest, I wasn't in the least bit concerned with the groom.........in fact, I don't even know if that role even played into my daydream. As I got older, I realized this aspect of the scene was quite essential. This realization led me to begin wondering what he would be like. If I'm being real, in high school that really boiled down to me being curious about what he would look like and whether or not I would have a quirky last name. As the years progressed to college, I eventually gained a pinch of maturity which brought with it the truth that his looks were not nearly as important as his heart. I began to daydream of walking down the aisle to my best friend and making a promise to someone who made me a better person.
It's funny how the Lord takes our daydreams and reveals to us that our imaginations can not even begin to compare to the beautiful plans He has predestined for us. Before I met Blue, I thought I knew what I needed.....I thought I knew what I wanted.......but the Lord showed me there was so much I didn't know. He showed me this by placing a strong, sarcastic, and genuine man named Blue Bryan in my path. While we did not exactly start off on the best foot, the Lord still had a plan for us.
A very close friendship was eventually formed, which blossomed into a dating relationship, which then blossomed into a marriage. Today, I am humbled and exceedingly thankful to wrap my arms around my precious family of four.......a reality that my daydreams could have never even comprehended.
There are many qualities about him that are not hard to notice immediately...............his good looks, his honesty, and his care and concern for other people. It's equally hard to miss how he carries himself in such an easy-going and personable manner. Quite frankly, the list of qualities that one might notice right away could go on for days. But there are also some qualities that those who have been blessed to have a friendship with him can all agree on. He is genuine. He is confident, yet humble at the same time. He is a strong leader and is easy to trust. There are also qualities about him that only I get to see..........qualities that bless me beyond measure. He sincerely seeks to love me like Christ loves the church. He is easy to submit to. He leads me gently, graciously, and without judgement. He knows that being a father is a gift and he loves our daughters actively with every ounce of his being. He is wise and strong.............but he is also playful, witty and far from being too proud to wear a tiara and fingernail polish if it will make his girls smile.
Blue has taught me a lot about myself. He has taught me to be confident in how the Lord has gifted me and to be bold in how He leads me to serve Him. He has helped me to like who I am and to be patient with myself. Most importantly, having Blue as my husband has allowed me to gain a deeper understanding of God's goodness. Through Blue, I have been able to see a picture of God's grace and perfect timing in my life. Through the Lord's sovereignty I met my husband. The Lord revealed to me that His ways are beyond anything I could ever imagine on my own. I never knew what I needed before I met Blue. Thankfully, my gracious Lord did. Today, I am in awe of His goodness in my life as I celebrate my amazing husband. Being his wife is a constant reminder that He is beyond worthy of being trusted and that His plan is infinitely better than any of my daydreams.
Today marks a very special day.
Happy birthday, Blue. I love you more than I love my own life.
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Into the Sunset
#1 - Today was going to be the day I restarted an exercise routine. However, I woke up and saw that it was raining.
Nevermind.
#2 - At the beginning of the month I started the Whole30 Program (clean eating on steroids). I made it to day 14 and realized my name is not Barefoot Contessa for a reason.......momma ain't got time for all that choppin'.
I am currently drinking a cup of coffee with my Whole30-off-limits creamer.
#3 - I recently decided that I have to go to bed earlier in order to be more efficient with my tomorrow. I remembered that goal as I was up late last night watching a DVR'd episode of The Voice.
I'm still blaming The Voice for the coffee I'm currently drinking.
#4 - I often set my mind to being better about phoning friends that I rarely get to see or talk to. I miss them and I want them to know they matter to me.
I am also often reminded that I am terrible at managing my time for phone calls.
#5 - After Campbell was born I was determined to be at my pre-pregnancy weight before her first birthday (at the latest).
She turns six years old in August............let's just say I'm not there yet. And yes, I'm aware of #1 and #2.
My intentions are always good, but in so many cases I really struggle with the follow-through. Is anybody else out there in the same boat? To make myself feel better, I am just going to tell myself that anyone actually reading this is currently nodding your head up and down, saying "amen". It's possible that I work harder at justifying my reasons for "redirecting" my ambitions than I do at keeping them. For those of you superhero's reading this who laugh in the face of excuses.........put your cape away and settle down, Yes, I am fully aware that my failed attempts at goals and ambitions are a reflection of my own choices. But the joke is on you............I am making a new choice......
I am accepting grace.
I am one of those girls that will beat myself up when I fall short. While I struggle to follow-through with many of my goals, I struggle even more at accepting that I failed. The fact is, I'm not perfect and I never will be. I strive to live a life that honors the Lord, however, I know that I will never be without blemish or shortcoming. I want to please Him in the way I respond to my failures. While I must daily make the choice of striving to emulate His perfection, I must also daily choose to accept His grace in the midst of my inevitable imperfections. Failure brings conviction, conviction brings change, and change refines us to be made more like Him through the work of the Holy Spirit. While change without action is like a ship with no sails, I am encouraged to know that His grace gives me the strength I need to sail into the sunset.
Thank you, Jesus, for never being in short supply of that sweet, amazing grace.
"But he said to me,"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me."" (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Nevermind.
#2 - At the beginning of the month I started the Whole30 Program (clean eating on steroids). I made it to day 14 and realized my name is not Barefoot Contessa for a reason.......momma ain't got time for all that choppin'.
I am currently drinking a cup of coffee with my Whole30-off-limits creamer.
#3 - I recently decided that I have to go to bed earlier in order to be more efficient with my tomorrow. I remembered that goal as I was up late last night watching a DVR'd episode of The Voice.
I'm still blaming The Voice for the coffee I'm currently drinking.
#4 - I often set my mind to being better about phoning friends that I rarely get to see or talk to. I miss them and I want them to know they matter to me.
I am also often reminded that I am terrible at managing my time for phone calls.
#5 - After Campbell was born I was determined to be at my pre-pregnancy weight before her first birthday (at the latest).
She turns six years old in August............let's just say I'm not there yet. And yes, I'm aware of #1 and #2.
My intentions are always good, but in so many cases I really struggle with the follow-through. Is anybody else out there in the same boat? To make myself feel better, I am just going to tell myself that anyone actually reading this is currently nodding your head up and down, saying "amen". It's possible that I work harder at justifying my reasons for "redirecting" my ambitions than I do at keeping them. For those of you superhero's reading this who laugh in the face of excuses.........put your cape away and settle down, Yes, I am fully aware that my failed attempts at goals and ambitions are a reflection of my own choices. But the joke is on you............I am making a new choice......
I am accepting grace.
I am one of those girls that will beat myself up when I fall short. While I struggle to follow-through with many of my goals, I struggle even more at accepting that I failed. The fact is, I'm not perfect and I never will be. I strive to live a life that honors the Lord, however, I know that I will never be without blemish or shortcoming. I want to please Him in the way I respond to my failures. While I must daily make the choice of striving to emulate His perfection, I must also daily choose to accept His grace in the midst of my inevitable imperfections. Failure brings conviction, conviction brings change, and change refines us to be made more like Him through the work of the Holy Spirit. While change without action is like a ship with no sails, I am encouraged to know that His grace gives me the strength I need to sail into the sunset.
Thank you, Jesus, for never being in short supply of that sweet, amazing grace.
"But he said to me,"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me."" (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Not a Typical Tuesday
It started like any other Tuesday. I know for a fact it was a Tuesday because that was the day that Blue had staff meetings, which meant we did not talk to each other until around 5 pm.
We were living in a second floor, two-bedroom apartment at the time and the limited space made for interesting days with a 2 year old and 4 year old. It is understandable that the fact they shared a room, and their age, led to some dramatic scenarios (a.k.a. temper tantrums). Blue and I had exhausted all efforts when it comes to a successful mode of discipline. The only strategy that seemed to be effective for our mischievous and strong-will girls was isolation. However, because time-out in their room resulted in them pulling a Shawshank Redemption and busting out of their chambers, we had to turn the door knob so that we could lock them in. Don't judge.....it had to be done.....we discipline them because we love them. If we did not lock the door it was nothing but a good ol' game of peek-a-boo and ineffective discipline is a waste of time. Anyway, Campbell and I are talking in their room while I'm folding laundry when I hear the door behind me shut.......and then click.
She had locked us in.
I started off politely asking...."Piper, honey.....will you let Mommy out??" This led to no response. My gentle request soon led to a firm demand....."Piper..........Let. Us. Out." I apparently do not intimidate her. I began to panic because my phone was in the living room and it was a Tuesday......Blue wouldn't suspect a thing. Poor Campbell was my only companion to process my panic....
Me: Oh. my. word........we can't get out of here. Piper is lose in the apartment. What if she opens the door and leaves???
Campbell: Hmm..........oh no. Well, do you want to play Barbies on my bed while we wait??
Me: Campbell, don't you understand?? We. can't. get. out.
Campbell: I'm just saying we could play while we wait.
At this point I tried bribery......"Piper, honey, if you let Mommy out I will give you a sucker!" I could hear her little feet running around the apartment. The only time she paused was when she came to play with my fingers that were poking out from under the door, pleading for freedom. My bribes quickly turned to threats....."Piper, if you don't open this door you will be in LOTS of trouble!! Open it now!" These threats continued until the point I was shocked to hear her little feet run to the other side of the door and yell, "BE QUITE!!" Apparently, the words I always used when she was screaming at me in time-out just bit me in the butt.
I am not sure how much time had passed at this point, but I knew that Campbell and I were not making it out of there any time soon. Piper was nothing but a walking tornado and a flight risk being left alone in that apartment. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I looked out the window and saw a maintenance man walking through the parking lot, so I quickly slid it open and sat in the frame like Juliet.......
Me: (clearing my voice) Excuse me, sir???
Poor, Innocent Man: (looks around confused)
Me: (forget it, I'm yelling) Excuse me!!! Sir!!
Poor, Innocent Man: (finally spots me and looks at me like I'm crazy)
Me: Yes, hello! Well, you see......its funny (awkward laugh)......my 2 year old has locked me and my 4 year old in the bedroom...(another awkward laugh)
Poor, Innocent Man: (not laughing, just continuing to look at me like I'm crazy)
Me: I was wondering if you could call my husband and let him know that we can not get out??? He won't answer on the first ring because he is in a meeting, so you will need to call him twice......let me give you his number....his name is Blue.....
Long story short(er)........Piper eventually opened the door because she thought she was missing out on fun and Blue really enjoyed getting the phone call. I soon learned our story had spread, and I'm pretty sure the maintenance man still talks about the crazy lady in the window who can't control her kids.
Here is my point......
In those moments when you feel like you have absolutely no control..........you are right. When you feel like you are hanging on by a thread and are two seconds away from checking into a rubber-room......it's time to surrender. In the Lord's perfect grace and sweet mercy, He blesses us by giving us moments that keep us humble and dependent on Him. When we seek control we find chaos, and when we demand our own ways, instead of His, we find confusion. Through His goodness, He gives us moments of desperation to rescue us from the chaos and confusion. Once we surrender, we will find freedom.
We were living in a second floor, two-bedroom apartment at the time and the limited space made for interesting days with a 2 year old and 4 year old. It is understandable that the fact they shared a room, and their age, led to some dramatic scenarios (a.k.a. temper tantrums). Blue and I had exhausted all efforts when it comes to a successful mode of discipline. The only strategy that seemed to be effective for our mischievous and strong-will girls was isolation. However, because time-out in their room resulted in them pulling a Shawshank Redemption and busting out of their chambers, we had to turn the door knob so that we could lock them in. Don't judge.....it had to be done.....we discipline them because we love them. If we did not lock the door it was nothing but a good ol' game of peek-a-boo and ineffective discipline is a waste of time. Anyway, Campbell and I are talking in their room while I'm folding laundry when I hear the door behind me shut.......and then click.
She had locked us in.
I started off politely asking...."Piper, honey.....will you let Mommy out??" This led to no response. My gentle request soon led to a firm demand....."Piper..........Let. Us. Out." I apparently do not intimidate her. I began to panic because my phone was in the living room and it was a Tuesday......Blue wouldn't suspect a thing. Poor Campbell was my only companion to process my panic....
Me: Oh. my. word........we can't get out of here. Piper is lose in the apartment. What if she opens the door and leaves???
Campbell: Hmm..........oh no. Well, do you want to play Barbies on my bed while we wait??
Me: Campbell, don't you understand?? We. can't. get. out.
Campbell: I'm just saying we could play while we wait.
At this point I tried bribery......"Piper, honey, if you let Mommy out I will give you a sucker!" I could hear her little feet running around the apartment. The only time she paused was when she came to play with my fingers that were poking out from under the door, pleading for freedom. My bribes quickly turned to threats....."Piper, if you don't open this door you will be in LOTS of trouble!! Open it now!" These threats continued until the point I was shocked to hear her little feet run to the other side of the door and yell, "BE QUITE!!" Apparently, the words I always used when she was screaming at me in time-out just bit me in the butt.
I am not sure how much time had passed at this point, but I knew that Campbell and I were not making it out of there any time soon. Piper was nothing but a walking tornado and a flight risk being left alone in that apartment. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I looked out the window and saw a maintenance man walking through the parking lot, so I quickly slid it open and sat in the frame like Juliet.......
Me: (clearing my voice) Excuse me, sir???
Poor, Innocent Man: (looks around confused)
Me: (forget it, I'm yelling) Excuse me!!! Sir!!
Poor, Innocent Man: (finally spots me and looks at me like I'm crazy)
Me: Yes, hello! Well, you see......its funny (awkward laugh)......my 2 year old has locked me and my 4 year old in the bedroom...(another awkward laugh)
Poor, Innocent Man: (not laughing, just continuing to look at me like I'm crazy)
Me: I was wondering if you could call my husband and let him know that we can not get out??? He won't answer on the first ring because he is in a meeting, so you will need to call him twice......let me give you his number....his name is Blue.....
Long story short(er)........Piper eventually opened the door because she thought she was missing out on fun and Blue really enjoyed getting the phone call. I soon learned our story had spread, and I'm pretty sure the maintenance man still talks about the crazy lady in the window who can't control her kids.
Here is my point......
In those moments when you feel like you have absolutely no control..........you are right. When you feel like you are hanging on by a thread and are two seconds away from checking into a rubber-room......it's time to surrender. In the Lord's perfect grace and sweet mercy, He blesses us by giving us moments that keep us humble and dependent on Him. When we seek control we find chaos, and when we demand our own ways, instead of His, we find confusion. Through His goodness, He gives us moments of desperation to rescue us from the chaos and confusion. Once we surrender, we will find freedom.
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
I'm Telling Everyone My Weight
April Fools.
Seriously?? Did you really think I was just going to throw my "number" out here into cyber space for all to see? Well, if you did.......shame on you.
I will never forget the day that everything changed. It was two weeks before our wedding, Blue had just moved into our first home in Atlanta, GA, and I was innocently driving to work.........completely unaware of the phone call I was about to get.
(my cell phone rings)
Me: Hey, honey!
Blue: Hey, sweetie. Listen, I am filling out some paperwork for our health insurance and I just need to ask you a few questions.
Me: OK, what do you need to know?
Blue: Let's see.......how tall are you?
Me: 5'6"
Blue: OK.......how much do you weigh?
Me: Excuse me?
Blue: (silent pause).....um......how much do you weigh?
Me: Blue, you don't just call someone and ask that. This is a serious conversation.
Blue: (silent pause)......um......what?
Me: Seriously.........we need to sit down and talk about this.
Despite my udder shock at the boldness of his inquiry, I eventually had to open the chest of secrets because......well........I needed insurance. Never in my life had I willingly told anyone how much I weighed. Of course my doctor knew........but honestly, she was flirting with my backhand when she asked me to step on the scale. There were two things that surprised me on this D-Day of insecurity bombshells: 1) The number truly did not matter to him (in fact, I'm pretty sure he thought I was crazy), and 2) I felt so much relief to tell him.......for the first time I realized and believed it didn't matter.
Women live in a world that tells us we have to look a certain way. I don't remember a time in my life this wasn't the case. Society tells women their beauty depends on what size their jeans are and what number the scale says. Weight is something that can control the mental and emotional state of a woman. It is heartbreaking. In middle school I remember being one of many girls already finding insecurities about our bodies. I cheered in high school and remember just hoping and praying I would get to stay on the bottom of the pyramid because I felt my thighs weren't meant to "fly". In college and seminary Satan fed me the lie that I would probably remain single until I looked good in a bikini.........and I believed him.
Then I had daughters. I always make sure that I never talk about losing weight in front of them. I never want them to hear me complaining about my body or comparing myself to Gisele Bundchen (she has got to be airbrushed anyway, right??). I want them to know what true beauty is, and I want them to see me living in that truth and being confident in it. The Lord has used my daughters to convict my heart of the fact that I have listened to the enemy too many times in my life. Beauty is not a number on a scale. It is not the number on the tag of your jeans. While it should be a priority to take care of the body God gave us, and to make our health a constant focus, we must not confuse this with beauty. I do not want my beautiful daughters to believe the same lies I accepted throughout my life. It is my hope that I will lay the lies of insecurity down at the Lord's feet, so that my girls will see me practice what I preach.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30
Seriously?? Did you really think I was just going to throw my "number" out here into cyber space for all to see? Well, if you did.......shame on you.
I will never forget the day that everything changed. It was two weeks before our wedding, Blue had just moved into our first home in Atlanta, GA, and I was innocently driving to work.........completely unaware of the phone call I was about to get.
(my cell phone rings)
Me: Hey, honey!
Blue: Hey, sweetie. Listen, I am filling out some paperwork for our health insurance and I just need to ask you a few questions.
Me: OK, what do you need to know?
Blue: Let's see.......how tall are you?
Me: 5'6"
Blue: OK.......how much do you weigh?
Me: Excuse me?
Blue: (silent pause).....um......how much do you weigh?
Me: Blue, you don't just call someone and ask that. This is a serious conversation.
Blue: (silent pause)......um......what?
Me: Seriously.........we need to sit down and talk about this.
Despite my udder shock at the boldness of his inquiry, I eventually had to open the chest of secrets because......well........I needed insurance. Never in my life had I willingly told anyone how much I weighed. Of course my doctor knew........but honestly, she was flirting with my backhand when she asked me to step on the scale. There were two things that surprised me on this D-Day of insecurity bombshells: 1) The number truly did not matter to him (in fact, I'm pretty sure he thought I was crazy), and 2) I felt so much relief to tell him.......for the first time I realized and believed it didn't matter.
Women live in a world that tells us we have to look a certain way. I don't remember a time in my life this wasn't the case. Society tells women their beauty depends on what size their jeans are and what number the scale says. Weight is something that can control the mental and emotional state of a woman. It is heartbreaking. In middle school I remember being one of many girls already finding insecurities about our bodies. I cheered in high school and remember just hoping and praying I would get to stay on the bottom of the pyramid because I felt my thighs weren't meant to "fly". In college and seminary Satan fed me the lie that I would probably remain single until I looked good in a bikini.........and I believed him.
Then I had daughters. I always make sure that I never talk about losing weight in front of them. I never want them to hear me complaining about my body or comparing myself to Gisele Bundchen (she has got to be airbrushed anyway, right??). I want them to know what true beauty is, and I want them to see me living in that truth and being confident in it. The Lord has used my daughters to convict my heart of the fact that I have listened to the enemy too many times in my life. Beauty is not a number on a scale. It is not the number on the tag of your jeans. While it should be a priority to take care of the body God gave us, and to make our health a constant focus, we must not confuse this with beauty. I do not want my beautiful daughters to believe the same lies I accepted throughout my life. It is my hope that I will lay the lies of insecurity down at the Lord's feet, so that my girls will see me practice what I preach.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Being a Mary in a Martha World
I wanted Campbell's first birthday party to be perfect. After researching and then planning exactly how I wanted it to look, I spent weeks hand-making the decorations and organizing the details of the menu and centerpieces. The night before the party, I went to our church fellowship hall to begin getting everything in place so that I could "relax" with my family on Saturday morning.
Is that not hilarious?!?!?! I thought I was going to RELAX!!
Before I knew it guests began to arrive and I was trying my best to make sure everyone had what they needed, that food trays were filled, and that all the children were playing together in a drama-free fashion. I'm sure I was trying to keep an "I'm-cool-as-a-cucumber" smile on my face, but I distinctly remember feeling like I was going to physically fall over at any moment. As the party ended, I made sure all the children took their meticulously thought out and prepared party favors and then took a deep breath. Now it was time to clean. Lord have mercy.
"Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me." And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:38-42
With every fiber of my being, I can completely understand Martha. After all, she was the hostess. She wanted things to be perfect. They needed to be perfect. Of course she wanted to sit down and just relax with Jesus.......I mean, why wouldn't she?? But how could she possibly just sit down before everything was prepared and ready for their time spent together? I can picture her looking over at Mary, rolling her eyes along the way, wondering why no one else ever helps with the details.........they just sit around and enjoy them. While I can identify with Martha, I desperately want to personify Mary. That chick knew what she was doing. She set up camp right at the feet of Jesus. She was with Jesus. She knew there was absolutely nothing else in the world that could be more important than soaking up the sound of every breath He took. It didn't matter that the chores were not finished before He arrived, or that her peripheral vision allowed her to see Martha giving her the stink-eye with every huff she took. She was not going to be distracted. She was confident in what mattered. She was focused on the One that deserved her attention.
When I sit and think about Campbell's birthday party, I am heartbroken that I do not have many memories spent with her. Just like Martha, I spent all of my energy and time on details that don't mean a thing today. The fact is, we live in a Martha world and we are surrounded by stink-eyes and huffs that are doing everything in their power to demand our attention. I want to be Mary. I want to sit confident at the feet of Jesus, soaking up His every breath. I choose to not be persuaded or manipulated by the pressures around me, but instead, to sit so close to Him that I can clearly hear His voice in the midst of the noise. I choose to focus on what is important............on Him.............and on what He is telling me to do.
Lord, please help me to be a Mary in a Martha world.
Is that not hilarious?!?!?! I thought I was going to RELAX!!
Before I knew it guests began to arrive and I was trying my best to make sure everyone had what they needed, that food trays were filled, and that all the children were playing together in a drama-free fashion. I'm sure I was trying to keep an "I'm-cool-as-a-cucumber" smile on my face, but I distinctly remember feeling like I was going to physically fall over at any moment. As the party ended, I made sure all the children took their meticulously thought out and prepared party favors and then took a deep breath. Now it was time to clean. Lord have mercy.
"Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me." And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:38-42
With every fiber of my being, I can completely understand Martha. After all, she was the hostess. She wanted things to be perfect. They needed to be perfect. Of course she wanted to sit down and just relax with Jesus.......I mean, why wouldn't she?? But how could she possibly just sit down before everything was prepared and ready for their time spent together? I can picture her looking over at Mary, rolling her eyes along the way, wondering why no one else ever helps with the details.........they just sit around and enjoy them. While I can identify with Martha, I desperately want to personify Mary. That chick knew what she was doing. She set up camp right at the feet of Jesus. She was with Jesus. She knew there was absolutely nothing else in the world that could be more important than soaking up the sound of every breath He took. It didn't matter that the chores were not finished before He arrived, or that her peripheral vision allowed her to see Martha giving her the stink-eye with every huff she took. She was not going to be distracted. She was confident in what mattered. She was focused on the One that deserved her attention.
When I sit and think about Campbell's birthday party, I am heartbroken that I do not have many memories spent with her. Just like Martha, I spent all of my energy and time on details that don't mean a thing today. The fact is, we live in a Martha world and we are surrounded by stink-eyes and huffs that are doing everything in their power to demand our attention. I want to be Mary. I want to sit confident at the feet of Jesus, soaking up His every breath. I choose to not be persuaded or manipulated by the pressures around me, but instead, to sit so close to Him that I can clearly hear His voice in the midst of the noise. I choose to focus on what is important............on Him.............and on what He is telling me to do.
Lord, please help me to be a Mary in a Martha world.
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
The Switch
I make it a general rule of thumb to avoid taking my girls with me to the post office. Reason being, when we arrive they are smart enough to know I am going to be distracted and their bright blue eyes view the room as a blank canvas for mischief. However, about a year ago, Blue was out of town and I was in crunch time to mail out a stack of catalogs for my previous Thirty-One business......so I had to break the rule.
BIG mistake.
Piper was sick and we stopped on the way to the doctors office for her sick visit. It was right before a holiday so the line was literally to the door. I held Piper with one arm, the huge stack of catalogs with the other, all while trying to prevent Campbell from pulling everything off the walls as she danced by my side. We finally made it to the front of the line. As Campbell was trying to show everyone she could hold the counter with her hands while climbing up the side of the wall with her feet, I sat Piper on the counter so that I could reach in my purse for my debit card. In those 3-4 seconds she reached behind the clerks computer and found a switch. THE switch. This switch happened to be what controlled the operating system for the entire post office. This computer happened to be the motherboard for all the other computers in the building. I knew it was bad when I looked up to see the anguish and disbelief on the clerks face. Piper had flipped the switch off............of course she had. This realization caused me to immediately get dizzy and overheated. After waiting about 15 minutes, I apologized to the clerk and quickly walked toward the door, avoiding eye contact with everyone waiting. On my way out I heard the clerk apologizing to the long and frustrated line for the wait they were about to endure because their system would not reboot and they were unsure how long it would take. Frazzled and embarrassed, I drove to the doctors office. As I'm getting settled in the crowded waiting room, I look over to see my children doing belly slides across the large center table. Shortly after being punished for that, one of them got loose and started running over the top of all the empty waiting room chairs.....this tempted me to agree with all the judgmental stares I was getting from all the other parents holding their sick children. I could go on and on about the chaos, drama, and threats that took place in that doctors office during our hour and a half wait. By the time we got home, all I wanted to do was sit in fetal position in a dark corner and cry. But there was no time for that.....I needed to snap out of it and comfort my sick 2 year old. Even though I felt the need for a therapist and big piece of chocolate, my little girl felt horrible and needed her Mommy. I had to pull it together.
When we are tired, our little ones still expect energy. When we are overwhelmed, they still expect our attention. When we are scared, they still expect us to make them feel safe. All mother's can agree that our children bring us joy that we never knew was possible. But I think we can also agree that we have some hard days. Days when we wonder what people will think of us if they knew how crazy our eyes can really get. Days when 4 cups of coffee just isn't doing the trick. While the joy is real, the feeling of exhaustion and the desire to be comforted is too. We all have those days when we want to sit down on the floor, in the middle of all the pandemonium, and have someone offer us a hug and a lollipop. We want to be encouraged. We want to be nurtured. We want someone to make us feel safe. In the middle of the night, after we have gotten our child back to sleep due to another mean nightmare, we climb into bed and are kept awake by the fears of life's "what-if's". We want someone to tell us that its all going to be alright. We get frazzled because it seems as though we have used all our strength and energy to comfort and encourage everyone else and we become concerned that we are going to stay in a state of anxious fear. We feel like we are swirling about in a tornado of chaos and it seems laughably ironic that someone is looking to us as the anchor in the middle of their wild waves.
When we are scared, His truth tells us this.....
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deuteronomy 31:6)
When we feel like we have nothing left to give, He tells us otherwise......
"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, yes, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."(Isaiah 41:10)
When we are overwhelmed, He just wants us to look to HIM....
"From the end of the earth, I will cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I." (Psalm 61:2)
When we collapse to our knees in the middle of the floor, overwhelmed by fear and fatigue.............He is there. He is wrapping His arms around us, tucking our hair behind our ear, and whispering, "It's all going to be alright."
BIG mistake.
Piper was sick and we stopped on the way to the doctors office for her sick visit. It was right before a holiday so the line was literally to the door. I held Piper with one arm, the huge stack of catalogs with the other, all while trying to prevent Campbell from pulling everything off the walls as she danced by my side. We finally made it to the front of the line. As Campbell was trying to show everyone she could hold the counter with her hands while climbing up the side of the wall with her feet, I sat Piper on the counter so that I could reach in my purse for my debit card. In those 3-4 seconds she reached behind the clerks computer and found a switch. THE switch. This switch happened to be what controlled the operating system for the entire post office. This computer happened to be the motherboard for all the other computers in the building. I knew it was bad when I looked up to see the anguish and disbelief on the clerks face. Piper had flipped the switch off............of course she had. This realization caused me to immediately get dizzy and overheated. After waiting about 15 minutes, I apologized to the clerk and quickly walked toward the door, avoiding eye contact with everyone waiting. On my way out I heard the clerk apologizing to the long and frustrated line for the wait they were about to endure because their system would not reboot and they were unsure how long it would take. Frazzled and embarrassed, I drove to the doctors office. As I'm getting settled in the crowded waiting room, I look over to see my children doing belly slides across the large center table. Shortly after being punished for that, one of them got loose and started running over the top of all the empty waiting room chairs.....this tempted me to agree with all the judgmental stares I was getting from all the other parents holding their sick children. I could go on and on about the chaos, drama, and threats that took place in that doctors office during our hour and a half wait. By the time we got home, all I wanted to do was sit in fetal position in a dark corner and cry. But there was no time for that.....I needed to snap out of it and comfort my sick 2 year old. Even though I felt the need for a therapist and big piece of chocolate, my little girl felt horrible and needed her Mommy. I had to pull it together.
When we are tired, our little ones still expect energy. When we are overwhelmed, they still expect our attention. When we are scared, they still expect us to make them feel safe. All mother's can agree that our children bring us joy that we never knew was possible. But I think we can also agree that we have some hard days. Days when we wonder what people will think of us if they knew how crazy our eyes can really get. Days when 4 cups of coffee just isn't doing the trick. While the joy is real, the feeling of exhaustion and the desire to be comforted is too. We all have those days when we want to sit down on the floor, in the middle of all the pandemonium, and have someone offer us a hug and a lollipop. We want to be encouraged. We want to be nurtured. We want someone to make us feel safe. In the middle of the night, after we have gotten our child back to sleep due to another mean nightmare, we climb into bed and are kept awake by the fears of life's "what-if's". We want someone to tell us that its all going to be alright. We get frazzled because it seems as though we have used all our strength and energy to comfort and encourage everyone else and we become concerned that we are going to stay in a state of anxious fear. We feel like we are swirling about in a tornado of chaos and it seems laughably ironic that someone is looking to us as the anchor in the middle of their wild waves.
When we are scared, His truth tells us this.....
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deuteronomy 31:6)
When we feel like we have nothing left to give, He tells us otherwise......
"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, yes, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."(Isaiah 41:10)
When we are overwhelmed, He just wants us to look to HIM....
"From the end of the earth, I will cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I." (Psalm 61:2)
When we collapse to our knees in the middle of the floor, overwhelmed by fear and fatigue.............He is there. He is wrapping His arms around us, tucking our hair behind our ear, and whispering, "It's all going to be alright."
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
"To Infinity and Beyond!"
"This is an intergalactic emergency."
It's almost as if Buzz Lightyear could foresee my sweet family riding his "Space Ranger Spin" at Disney World when he gave us this quote. After trying to entertain and keep peace with a 2 and 4 year old while we waited in line, we eventually all four climbed aboard our space cruiser to begin the space crusade. Piper's face lit up when she saw the shiny red joystick that was glaring at us like a beaming light. This red little gem had the power to sling our space cruiser around in quick motions as it sat defenseless in the death-gripped hand of my 2 year old. After realizing my motion sickness demise, I looked over to see my husband's eyes become fixated on the space cannon in front of him. For the next 5 minutes I was able to absorb an accurate picture of what he would look like as a 10 year old boy who had free reign to a laser gun on a moving ride. A ride that allowed him to gain points for every target that was hit by a blast from his cannon. It was like manna from Heaven for his competitive soul. However, I was a little distracted by all of the red flags being thrown in my face, warning me of the battle Buzz Lightyear and I were about to embark upon. You see, my 4 year old was clinging to me like a cute little baby monkey. She apparently thought that this space crusade was a glimpse into cruel and unusual punishment.
It turned out that my space battlefield consisted of me working incredibly hard to not lose my theme park lunch due to Piper's joyride with the joystick. My duties also included comforting Campbell and covering her eyes from the horror before her, while occasionally throwing a fake smile and a thumbs up in my husbands direction as he gained another 10 points for good aim. I know we were in Disney World and all, but I will not say this particular experience was magical for me. The strategically placed cameras throughout the ride caught a pretty accurate picture.....
That's what mom's do though, right? We do our best to bring some calmness to the crazy when the world suddenly gets chaotic. We ache to comfort our little ones when fear or pain of any sort overtake them. While there are days we feel like we are hanging on by a thread to muster up the energy needed to conquer the next mommy moment before us, we still do not want to give that task to anyone else. Even on the hard days, we can still find purpose and fulfillment in knowing that we are the ones that have that powerful kiss that makes the boo-boo go away. We have the hug that makes the crackle of that thunder a little less terrifying. We are the ones that get to hold our husband's hand through all the diverse terrains of life. There is JOY in the calling of being a wife and a mom. While hard days might make that joy seem like something we have to reach for and cling to, no one can ever take it away. That is, as long as we don't give it away.
Our days as a wife and mom are going to be filled with curve balls, temper tantrums, messes, and exhaustion. But they will also be filled with fun surprises, laughter, unexpected hugs, and night-time cuddles. It's our choice what we dwell on and how we react to the crazy. God didn't make a mistake when He gave us the name "Mommy", or when He gave us the blessing of being a wife. So now let's not make a mistake in how we respond to life's chaos. Let's choose joy.
After all, joy is one thing we can carry "to infinity and beyond"!
It's almost as if Buzz Lightyear could foresee my sweet family riding his "Space Ranger Spin" at Disney World when he gave us this quote. After trying to entertain and keep peace with a 2 and 4 year old while we waited in line, we eventually all four climbed aboard our space cruiser to begin the space crusade. Piper's face lit up when she saw the shiny red joystick that was glaring at us like a beaming light. This red little gem had the power to sling our space cruiser around in quick motions as it sat defenseless in the death-gripped hand of my 2 year old. After realizing my motion sickness demise, I looked over to see my husband's eyes become fixated on the space cannon in front of him. For the next 5 minutes I was able to absorb an accurate picture of what he would look like as a 10 year old boy who had free reign to a laser gun on a moving ride. A ride that allowed him to gain points for every target that was hit by a blast from his cannon. It was like manna from Heaven for his competitive soul. However, I was a little distracted by all of the red flags being thrown in my face, warning me of the battle Buzz Lightyear and I were about to embark upon. You see, my 4 year old was clinging to me like a cute little baby monkey. She apparently thought that this space crusade was a glimpse into cruel and unusual punishment.
It turned out that my space battlefield consisted of me working incredibly hard to not lose my theme park lunch due to Piper's joyride with the joystick. My duties also included comforting Campbell and covering her eyes from the horror before her, while occasionally throwing a fake smile and a thumbs up in my husbands direction as he gained another 10 points for good aim. I know we were in Disney World and all, but I will not say this particular experience was magical for me. The strategically placed cameras throughout the ride caught a pretty accurate picture.....
That's what mom's do though, right? We do our best to bring some calmness to the crazy when the world suddenly gets chaotic. We ache to comfort our little ones when fear or pain of any sort overtake them. While there are days we feel like we are hanging on by a thread to muster up the energy needed to conquer the next mommy moment before us, we still do not want to give that task to anyone else. Even on the hard days, we can still find purpose and fulfillment in knowing that we are the ones that have that powerful kiss that makes the boo-boo go away. We have the hug that makes the crackle of that thunder a little less terrifying. We are the ones that get to hold our husband's hand through all the diverse terrains of life. There is JOY in the calling of being a wife and a mom. While hard days might make that joy seem like something we have to reach for and cling to, no one can ever take it away. That is, as long as we don't give it away.
Our days as a wife and mom are going to be filled with curve balls, temper tantrums, messes, and exhaustion. But they will also be filled with fun surprises, laughter, unexpected hugs, and night-time cuddles. It's our choice what we dwell on and how we react to the crazy. God didn't make a mistake when He gave us the name "Mommy", or when He gave us the blessing of being a wife. So now let's not make a mistake in how we respond to life's chaos. Let's choose joy.
After all, joy is one thing we can carry "to infinity and beyond"!
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Of Infinite Worth
One of the great things about all of this winter weather we've had is that it's made us stop in our tracks and spend uninterrupted time together. Praise Jesus. We have needed some good quality time. The other morning the four of us were playing and cuddling when this interaction took place....
Daddy: Campbell, let me give you a kiss!
Campbell: NEVER! ;)
Daddy: I'm your Daddy and I said to let me give you a kiss!
Campbell: You have to give me some money!
Daddy: Campbell Brooke, there is not enough money in the whole world to pay for one of your kisses.
Campbell: I'll take two dollars!!
At least now we know she doesn't think the tooth fairy is ripping her off. Shew. One fun, little innocent moment took my mommy brain to a different place. I want her to know her worth. I want she and Piper to know they are of infinite value. I made a lot of mistakes in my younger years. Mistakes that I received painful consequences and heartache from. I want my girls to stand firm and confident in their worth and value so that they never feel that same heartache. More importantly, I want them to stand firm and secure in who the Lord has created them to be so they can face troubled times with confidence and boldness. I want them to choose joy when the world tells them to choose bitterness.
So what can I do as their mommy to help them firmly plant their feet in this knowledge? Well, since you asked.....
1) Encourage and Affirm - I want to encourage them in what MATTERS. Yes, I think my girls are gorgeous and I always will. But I want them to know that my favorite qualities are not their golden locks or their blue eyes. I love their joy and their kindness. I love seeing them put their friends before themselves and being a blessing to others. I want to encourage them to not be swayed by what their peers are choosing to do, or by what society tells them is "cool". They are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139) and were created for BIG things. I want to encourage them to seek the Lord and find their purpose in His plan for their life
2) Model It - This is the true test of laying my own insecurities and my own selfish sins at the feet of Jesus. I want to model a woman who treats others, and responds to them, in a way that reflects Christ. I want them to see me pursue the Lord and be in His word. I want to guard my words and keep them from hearing me say negative things about my body. They need to know that the size of my jeans is not what reflects my beauty. But first, I need to make sure I always BELIEVE that. I want them to see me respond to trials and hardships with faith and trust.........not with my inclined nature of fear and worry. I know they WATCH me. They STUDY me. I choose to model what I want them to inherit.
3) Prayer - I spend a lot of time praying for my daughter's physical protection. I need to spend MORE time praying for their spiritual well-being. I need to pray for the health of their heart and mind, that they choose to enter into a relationship with their Heavenly Father. I pray for growth and maturity in a relationship with the Lord, that they will pursue Him with a passion. This spiritual health is what will give them the strength and discipline to resist the lies the world feeds them. Lies about their worth and deceptions about what reflects true beauty. I need to pray that they always find their security in the arms of Christ.
"I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:14
Daddy: Campbell, let me give you a kiss!
Campbell: NEVER! ;)
Daddy: I'm your Daddy and I said to let me give you a kiss!
Campbell: You have to give me some money!
Daddy: Campbell Brooke, there is not enough money in the whole world to pay for one of your kisses.
Campbell: I'll take two dollars!!
At least now we know she doesn't think the tooth fairy is ripping her off. Shew. One fun, little innocent moment took my mommy brain to a different place. I want her to know her worth. I want she and Piper to know they are of infinite value. I made a lot of mistakes in my younger years. Mistakes that I received painful consequences and heartache from. I want my girls to stand firm and confident in their worth and value so that they never feel that same heartache. More importantly, I want them to stand firm and secure in who the Lord has created them to be so they can face troubled times with confidence and boldness. I want them to choose joy when the world tells them to choose bitterness.
So what can I do as their mommy to help them firmly plant their feet in this knowledge? Well, since you asked.....
1) Encourage and Affirm - I want to encourage them in what MATTERS. Yes, I think my girls are gorgeous and I always will. But I want them to know that my favorite qualities are not their golden locks or their blue eyes. I love their joy and their kindness. I love seeing them put their friends before themselves and being a blessing to others. I want to encourage them to not be swayed by what their peers are choosing to do, or by what society tells them is "cool". They are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139) and were created for BIG things. I want to encourage them to seek the Lord and find their purpose in His plan for their life
2) Model It - This is the true test of laying my own insecurities and my own selfish sins at the feet of Jesus. I want to model a woman who treats others, and responds to them, in a way that reflects Christ. I want them to see me pursue the Lord and be in His word. I want to guard my words and keep them from hearing me say negative things about my body. They need to know that the size of my jeans is not what reflects my beauty. But first, I need to make sure I always BELIEVE that. I want them to see me respond to trials and hardships with faith and trust.........not with my inclined nature of fear and worry. I know they WATCH me. They STUDY me. I choose to model what I want them to inherit.
3) Prayer - I spend a lot of time praying for my daughter's physical protection. I need to spend MORE time praying for their spiritual well-being. I need to pray for the health of their heart and mind, that they choose to enter into a relationship with their Heavenly Father. I pray for growth and maturity in a relationship with the Lord, that they will pursue Him with a passion. This spiritual health is what will give them the strength and discipline to resist the lies the world feeds them. Lies about their worth and deceptions about what reflects true beauty. I need to pray that they always find their security in the arms of Christ.
"I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:14
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Unlock the Bathroom Door
Snow.
That pretty, white flakey goodness that falls from the heavens. It's beautiful, isn't it?? When Blue and I lived in SC we rarely were able to take part in the "snow day" fun because we very rarely SAW the white fluff. So when we moved to this part of NC we were pretty excited at the thought of getting to see some snow. We were even more excited about the idea of seeing our girls play in it. We KNEW they would love it. As we waved goodbye to January we started to believe that we just weren't going to see it this year..........to say we were disappointed would be the understatement of the year.
But then it happened. The weatherman said it was coming.
I loaded up the kitchen like I was preparing for the Apocalypse. We went to bed on a Monday night and woke up to the beautiful and white glaring snow on the ground on Tuesday. You better believe we played in it. We were out having snowball fights, sledding, and building a snowman by 10 am. We were all four in a state of winter bliss. Seriously.........look at the pure joy...........
Now we are fully in to week 2 of no school. We have more snow on the ground and more that is coming tomorrow AND the next day. If I'm being real, this is my current emotion............
Don't get me wrong, I know it is still a gift. It is absolutely gorgeous, my girls think its the best thing ever, we got what we have been hoping for...........blah, blah, blah. But ya'll..........I'm about to go crazy. Did ya'll read what I wrote earlier?? "Fully in to week 2 of no school"?? I have moved passed the phase of "let's put on our snow boots" and am officially putting a temporary wave on the ipad restriction rule. In fact, I'm just hoping it does its job when I am wanting to sneak into the bathroom for 5 minutes of alone time. Thank you, Jesus, for Temple Run. I am clinging to the hope that school will be back in session next week. We NEED school. Yes, my girls scholastic achievements matter and their educational progression is a priority. Sure. But right now............well, right now I just want to sit on the couch with a cup of coffee and watch the 10 o'clock hour of the Today Show uninterrupted. Call it lazy. Call it selfish. Whatever, man. Haters gonna hate. I love my girls more than I love my own life. My brush with a mental collapse is not in a response to anything they have done wrong. They are behaving like a 3 and 5 year old should at this point. My cray-cray attitude is all my own sin and side effects of cabin fever. I know this.
So mama bears out there..............we can do this. We are warriors. We can face this battle of "Mom vs. Bored Child" and come out on top. I know we have all probably fallen into survival mode..........I know I have. But now is when we need to dig deep. We need to reach into that space where we hide a back-up of "mommy energy". In cyber fashion, let's all join hands to walk to that battle line and punch boredom in the face. Let us agree to not blame our children for our weary attitudes........it's not their fault the school buses can't crank and our home acquired the cabin fever virus. Now it's time for us to take a deep breath, unlock the bathroom door, and come out armed for battle. And by-golly, let's have some FUN.
*Dear Northerners out there,
I know this "situation" we have down here is probably laughable to ya'll. Ya'll can't open your front door because of the snow. You have probably crashed Pinterest looking for activities to entertain your kids with. But please know, this southern struggle is still real. I will pray for rays of sunshine in your neck of the woods too.
Love,
One Tired, Southern Mommy
That pretty, white flakey goodness that falls from the heavens. It's beautiful, isn't it?? When Blue and I lived in SC we rarely were able to take part in the "snow day" fun because we very rarely SAW the white fluff. So when we moved to this part of NC we were pretty excited at the thought of getting to see some snow. We were even more excited about the idea of seeing our girls play in it. We KNEW they would love it. As we waved goodbye to January we started to believe that we just weren't going to see it this year..........to say we were disappointed would be the understatement of the year.
But then it happened. The weatherman said it was coming.
I loaded up the kitchen like I was preparing for the Apocalypse. We went to bed on a Monday night and woke up to the beautiful and white glaring snow on the ground on Tuesday. You better believe we played in it. We were out having snowball fights, sledding, and building a snowman by 10 am. We were all four in a state of winter bliss. Seriously.........look at the pure joy...........
Now we are fully in to week 2 of no school. We have more snow on the ground and more that is coming tomorrow AND the next day. If I'm being real, this is my current emotion............
Don't get me wrong, I know it is still a gift. It is absolutely gorgeous, my girls think its the best thing ever, we got what we have been hoping for...........blah, blah, blah. But ya'll..........I'm about to go crazy. Did ya'll read what I wrote earlier?? "Fully in to week 2 of no school"?? I have moved passed the phase of "let's put on our snow boots" and am officially putting a temporary wave on the ipad restriction rule. In fact, I'm just hoping it does its job when I am wanting to sneak into the bathroom for 5 minutes of alone time. Thank you, Jesus, for Temple Run. I am clinging to the hope that school will be back in session next week. We NEED school. Yes, my girls scholastic achievements matter and their educational progression is a priority. Sure. But right now............well, right now I just want to sit on the couch with a cup of coffee and watch the 10 o'clock hour of the Today Show uninterrupted. Call it lazy. Call it selfish. Whatever, man. Haters gonna hate. I love my girls more than I love my own life. My brush with a mental collapse is not in a response to anything they have done wrong. They are behaving like a 3 and 5 year old should at this point. My cray-cray attitude is all my own sin and side effects of cabin fever. I know this.
So mama bears out there..............we can do this. We are warriors. We can face this battle of "Mom vs. Bored Child" and come out on top. I know we have all probably fallen into survival mode..........I know I have. But now is when we need to dig deep. We need to reach into that space where we hide a back-up of "mommy energy". In cyber fashion, let's all join hands to walk to that battle line and punch boredom in the face. Let us agree to not blame our children for our weary attitudes........it's not their fault the school buses can't crank and our home acquired the cabin fever virus. Now it's time for us to take a deep breath, unlock the bathroom door, and come out armed for battle. And by-golly, let's have some FUN.
*Dear Northerners out there,
I know this "situation" we have down here is probably laughable to ya'll. Ya'll can't open your front door because of the snow. You have probably crashed Pinterest looking for activities to entertain your kids with. But please know, this southern struggle is still real. I will pray for rays of sunshine in your neck of the woods too.
Love,
One Tired, Southern Mommy
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Cherish and Sift
She turns 6 on August 5th. Six. Years. Old. I have absolutely no idea what happened........
If I am being real, I remember having so many of those days when Campbell was 2 and 3 when I would say things like, "This day is never going to end", or I would sneak in the bathroom and just lock myself in for about 2 or 3 minutes just so that I could regain sanity. On those days time felt as if it was standing still. Once Piper was born days passed by particularly fast. Moments were busier, my attention was divided, and everything got even louder.
Today I was scrolling through previous year's posts on my Facebook page. I am an epic failure at even the notion of keeping up a baby book, so I have always used Facebook as a way of journaling moments and conversations with my girls. As I was reading through them I was reminded how quickly time passes.
The fact is, I don't remember the things that happened that caused me to lock myself in the bathroom, or the emotional breakdowns that made me feel like a failure as a mother. But as I was looking through those moments on Facebook, I DO remember the joy, the laughter, and the milestones. I remember those times that Campbell stopped me in my tracks with her humor and her flare when she was barely even talking. Now she is almost 6. Where has the time gone? Each picture that I looked at, and every conversation I read, reminded me to cherish the moment and sift out my crazy.
Here are a few of the conversations from years past.....
_________________________________
March 9, 2013
Blue: Mommy, look! Campbell ate all of her chicken nuggets, all of her green beans, and half of her broccoli casserole! Didn't she do good??
Me: Wow, Campbell! You DID do good! I am so proud of you!
Campbell: Thanks. I couldn't have done it without Daddy.
_________________________________
May 22, 2013
Campbell had to eat leftovers for lunch today....
Campbell: Why are we eating this again?
Me: Because God gave it to us and we are going to eat it.
Campbell: But didn't God give us some other stuff?
__________________________________
July 17, 2013
Campbell got sick (aka - threw up) on herself in the car on the way home from VBS. I felt helpless because we were driving and less than 5 minutes from home....
Me: I am so sorry, honey.....I am going as quick as I can. I am so sorry you are sick!
Campbell: (crying)
Me: Oh sweetie, I am so sorry!
Campbell: Mommy......(sniff, cry, sniff)......
Me: Yes, baby??
Campbell: (holds up her arm and holds out her little finger)......(sniff, cry, sniff).....will you paint this fingernail again because all of the sparklies have come off of it.....(cry, cry, cry)...
__________________________________
July 29, 2013
During a popcorn snack, while Piper napped, I attempted conversation....
Me: So what is your favorite thing we have done today?
Campbell: (looks at me and chews)
Me: So are you excited about your birthday?
Campbell: (looks at me and chews)
Me: What flavor cake do you want?
Campbell: (looks at me and chews)
Me: (I silently chew)
Campbell: Mommy, do you know why I'm not answering you?
Me: Yes.
Campbell: Because I want to eat.
_________________________________
August 20, 2013
Me: If I see either of you girls misbehave, or disobey the rules, you are both going to your rooms.
(I step in the other room)
Campbell: (yelling) Mommy, did you see us???
_________________________________
October 2, 2013
I was laying Piper down for a nap and Campbell comes running in the room with a bunny/blanket that Piper likes to snuggle with...
Campbell: Wait!.......Piper, here you go....
Me: Piper, tell Campbell thank you.
Piper: Tank-ooo, Cambull.
Campbell: (as she walks away) Your welcome......just doin' my job.
__________________________________
November 12, 2013
While I was changing Piper's diaper she was pretty upset and Campbell came running over to comfort her....
Campbell: Piper, you want a hug?
Piper: No
Campbell: You want a kiss?
Piper: No
Campbell: You want me to rub your belly?
Piper: No
Campbell: Want me to play the drums?
Piper, Yes. Drums.
Piper pulls up her shirt and Campbell plays the drums on her belly.
__________________________________
From the ages of 2 to 4 Campbell could fall asleep anywhere and anyhow. She usually preferred to be in princess attire and would get out of bed to dress accordingly. Here are some of my favorites......
If I am being real, I remember having so many of those days when Campbell was 2 and 3 when I would say things like, "This day is never going to end", or I would sneak in the bathroom and just lock myself in for about 2 or 3 minutes just so that I could regain sanity. On those days time felt as if it was standing still. Once Piper was born days passed by particularly fast. Moments were busier, my attention was divided, and everything got even louder.
Today I was scrolling through previous year's posts on my Facebook page. I am an epic failure at even the notion of keeping up a baby book, so I have always used Facebook as a way of journaling moments and conversations with my girls. As I was reading through them I was reminded how quickly time passes.
The fact is, I don't remember the things that happened that caused me to lock myself in the bathroom, or the emotional breakdowns that made me feel like a failure as a mother. But as I was looking through those moments on Facebook, I DO remember the joy, the laughter, and the milestones. I remember those times that Campbell stopped me in my tracks with her humor and her flare when she was barely even talking. Now she is almost 6. Where has the time gone? Each picture that I looked at, and every conversation I read, reminded me to cherish the moment and sift out my crazy.
Here are a few of the conversations from years past.....
_________________________________
March 9, 2013
Blue: Mommy, look! Campbell ate all of her chicken nuggets, all of her green beans, and half of her broccoli casserole! Didn't she do good??
Me: Wow, Campbell! You DID do good! I am so proud of you!
Campbell: Thanks. I couldn't have done it without Daddy.
_________________________________
May 22, 2013
Campbell had to eat leftovers for lunch today....
Campbell: Why are we eating this again?
Me: Because God gave it to us and we are going to eat it.
Campbell: But didn't God give us some other stuff?
__________________________________
July 17, 2013
Campbell got sick (aka - threw up) on herself in the car on the way home from VBS. I felt helpless because we were driving and less than 5 minutes from home....
Me: I am so sorry, honey.....I am going as quick as I can. I am so sorry you are sick!
Campbell: (crying)
Me: Oh sweetie, I am so sorry!
Campbell: Mommy......(sniff, cry, sniff)......
Me: Yes, baby??
Campbell: (holds up her arm and holds out her little finger)......(sniff, cry, sniff).....will you paint this fingernail again because all of the sparklies have come off of it.....(cry, cry, cry)...
__________________________________
July 29, 2013
During a popcorn snack, while Piper napped, I attempted conversation....
Me: So what is your favorite thing we have done today?
Campbell: (looks at me and chews)
Me: So are you excited about your birthday?
Campbell: (looks at me and chews)
Me: What flavor cake do you want?
Campbell: (looks at me and chews)
Me: (I silently chew)
Campbell: Mommy, do you know why I'm not answering you?
Me: Yes.
Campbell: Because I want to eat.
_________________________________
August 20, 2013
Me: If I see either of you girls misbehave, or disobey the rules, you are both going to your rooms.
(I step in the other room)
Campbell: (yelling) Mommy, did you see us???
_________________________________
October 2, 2013
I was laying Piper down for a nap and Campbell comes running in the room with a bunny/blanket that Piper likes to snuggle with...
Campbell: Wait!.......Piper, here you go....
Me: Piper, tell Campbell thank you.
Piper: Tank-ooo, Cambull.
Campbell: (as she walks away) Your welcome......just doin' my job.
__________________________________
November 12, 2013
While I was changing Piper's diaper she was pretty upset and Campbell came running over to comfort her....
Campbell: Piper, you want a hug?
Piper: No
Campbell: You want a kiss?
Piper: No
Campbell: You want me to rub your belly?
Piper: No
Campbell: Want me to play the drums?
Piper, Yes. Drums.
Piper pulls up her shirt and Campbell plays the drums on her belly.
__________________________________
From the ages of 2 to 4 Campbell could fall asleep anywhere and anyhow. She usually preferred to be in princess attire and would get out of bed to dress accordingly. Here are some of my favorites......
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Valentine's Day Rap
Hey! I (Blue) have high jacked Heather's blog. Today marks the anniversary of the greatest Valentine's Day gift that I have ever received and I wanted to share it with you all. I have the coolest wife ever. I love you, Heather Bryan, but apparently not enough to do my own rap. Click the link and enjoy.
Valentines Day Rap for the Hubs
Monday, February 9, 2015
Fairytale Mirage
I will be the first to say that I love Chick Flicks. It's usually always the same predictable plot: boy and girl are about to reveal their love, then drama unfolds, and in the last 15 minutes they triumph all odds and seal their love with a kiss. I've seen it dozens of times but I'm still a sucker for it. Don't get me wrong, I love a good ol' CIA movie as well, but there is something about one of those sappy love stories that puts you in a floating dream-like state. While I was still single I remember watching those movies with my girlfriends and then imagining how those last 15 minutes would play out in my own life. Poor guys..........it's no wonder they hate chick flicks.
When Blue and I first met in 2003 we quickly decided that we did not like each other. And I mean even as friends. We pretty much avoided each other for about a year. In 2004, for a number of reasons, our worlds collided and we realized that our first impressions were totally off base. Blue quickly became one of my best friends and also one of my main sources for dating advice. However, we were both surprised, and relieved, when the Lord revealed our "last 15 minutes" with each other in 2006. Blue gave me an incredible engagement story, we said "I do", and then we walked away hand in hand to begin our life together as husband and wife.
Now its time for us all to sit down and take a deep breath...........seriously, just take a moment to sit back and brace yourself. Here it comes........
Fairytales. Don't. Exist.
Woah. I know, I know........I'm the evil messenger. As it turns out, fights don't always resolve to a sweet kiss while Boyz II Men play in the background. Apparently, Blue can't read my mind and he doesn't have an arsenal of romantic gestures to throw at me. And here is the real nail biter.......believe it or not, I actually mess up from time to time. My mess ups made me come to the conclusion that my marriage does not revolve around my ever-changing mood..............I know, I was shocked too. I was pretty surprised to discover that Blue did not have secret romantic dates planned out in advance. If Blue is being honest, he was probably a little taken back to find out I wasn't in the kitchen cooking dinner with my hair curled and my make-up on when he came home from work. My lounge pants and the shirt I wore to bed the night before definitely sang a different tune. Previous notions and expectations became laughable for both of us.
There is no possible way Blue, or any man, could possibly live up to the standard that these Blockbuster love stories create. While I could sit down with a tub of popcorn and watch Nicholas Sparks movies marathon style, I have to separate fact from fiction. But here is the AWESOME thing...........my love story is even better. It is better because it is REAL. It has its ups and it has its downs. It has laughter and it has fights. It has stupid mistakes and it has grace. Through all of the beauty and blunders that my marriage holds, there will always be romance in the fact that at the end of the day we CHOOSE to make our marriage work and grow. We choose to commit each step we take together to Christ. We choose to forgive each other for the blunders because we know that we have been forgiven by the One who loves perfectly.On October 7, 2006 we may not have ridden off in the sunset toward a life that reflects a box office hit, but we did begin a real story of love, grace and a lot of fun. Let's not let the mirage of a fairytale destroy the blessings of our reality.
As we approach Valentines Day this week let's celebrate and imitate the One who loves perfectly. He loves with forgiveness, grace, and gentleness. He loves sacrificially, fully, and without restraint. Instead of getting caught up in the Hollywood story of romance, let's treasure the gift God gave us in our spouse and make every effort to emulate His perfect love.
"We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19
When Blue and I first met in 2003 we quickly decided that we did not like each other. And I mean even as friends. We pretty much avoided each other for about a year. In 2004, for a number of reasons, our worlds collided and we realized that our first impressions were totally off base. Blue quickly became one of my best friends and also one of my main sources for dating advice. However, we were both surprised, and relieved, when the Lord revealed our "last 15 minutes" with each other in 2006. Blue gave me an incredible engagement story, we said "I do", and then we walked away hand in hand to begin our life together as husband and wife.
Now its time for us all to sit down and take a deep breath...........seriously, just take a moment to sit back and brace yourself. Here it comes........
Fairytales. Don't. Exist.
Woah. I know, I know........I'm the evil messenger. As it turns out, fights don't always resolve to a sweet kiss while Boyz II Men play in the background. Apparently, Blue can't read my mind and he doesn't have an arsenal of romantic gestures to throw at me. And here is the real nail biter.......believe it or not, I actually mess up from time to time. My mess ups made me come to the conclusion that my marriage does not revolve around my ever-changing mood..............I know, I was shocked too. I was pretty surprised to discover that Blue did not have secret romantic dates planned out in advance. If Blue is being honest, he was probably a little taken back to find out I wasn't in the kitchen cooking dinner with my hair curled and my make-up on when he came home from work. My lounge pants and the shirt I wore to bed the night before definitely sang a different tune. Previous notions and expectations became laughable for both of us.
There is no possible way Blue, or any man, could possibly live up to the standard that these Blockbuster love stories create. While I could sit down with a tub of popcorn and watch Nicholas Sparks movies marathon style, I have to separate fact from fiction. But here is the AWESOME thing...........my love story is even better. It is better because it is REAL. It has its ups and it has its downs. It has laughter and it has fights. It has stupid mistakes and it has grace. Through all of the beauty and blunders that my marriage holds, there will always be romance in the fact that at the end of the day we CHOOSE to make our marriage work and grow. We choose to commit each step we take together to Christ. We choose to forgive each other for the blunders because we know that we have been forgiven by the One who loves perfectly.On October 7, 2006 we may not have ridden off in the sunset toward a life that reflects a box office hit, but we did begin a real story of love, grace and a lot of fun. Let's not let the mirage of a fairytale destroy the blessings of our reality.
As we approach Valentines Day this week let's celebrate and imitate the One who loves perfectly. He loves with forgiveness, grace, and gentleness. He loves sacrificially, fully, and without restraint. Instead of getting caught up in the Hollywood story of romance, let's treasure the gift God gave us in our spouse and make every effort to emulate His perfect love.
"We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)